am back in online dating world. Ideally, I should do my man shopping out in the real world but since I was home sick from work last week I used online man shopping to fill the space between cartoons and Oprah.

I decided to ditch OkCupid and test out Nerve.com’s personals. Its rather frustrating because it’s a paid service. In order to supplement my search, I decided to try out MySpace.com and Friendster.com to hunt people down for free.

First of all I have to agree with the last online dating article. There are things you should and should not do if you plan on attracting someone. Not that my profile is all that. I plan on adding some more info but I needed to make sure that there were fish in the pond before I tricked out my fishing gear.

Next, I must say that I am VERY picky. I sat down with my friend Megan last night to show her that I am not stalling on moving on, there just aren’t any guys that are worth it. During my showcase of the males in Austin between ages 28 and 32 on these services Megan noted that she was very thankful for the fact that she wasn’t out there searching. She has found someone for now. I wish that I had a recording of my man shopping commentary to add to this article. It was pretty harsh but Megan had a good laugh.

Where are those guys who are hot, have a decent job, and have their shit together? Are they all taken?

Things that will cause me to diss your profile…

1. Bad profile name/nickname. If you are calling yourself “mrhottie39485″, “theshiznit”, or “imsofncool”, you may as well call yourself “theprofilejenznotgonnalookat”
2. Bad picture as the default (blurred, chick cut out, cartoon image, animated gif). When I run a search query this is what catches my attention and may redeem those of you who made a bad choice in profile/nickname.
3. Crappy taglines/headlines can lose you points as well. Things like “lookin for lovin”, “Mr. Right”, or “I’m not wearing pants in this picture” aren’t going to get you far.
4. There are also a few general things that I use to weed out people. Height (I’d prefer someone my height or taller), kids (no kids please, I’d like to avoid that kind of drama), dogs (I am not a dog person), smokers (I’m allergic), choice of additional photos (all of them are in bars or clubs), jocks and frat boys (need not apply), and anything that might allude to the fact that you are a dork with poor social skills.
5. Now we break it down by service because they are a little different.

MySpace.com

1. MySpace allows you to “trick out” your profile page. Because I am into web design, I may deduct points for poor usability and too much crap (animated gifs, sounds, etc…)
2. If you have a lot of trashy chicks in your friend list you lose points. There is no way that you know half those chicks named Brandi wearing the T-backed thong.

Friendster.com

1. No stats on Friendster. I will have no clue as to whether you have a dog, nine kids, a drug habit, etc unless you reveal these things in your profile somewhere or in the photos. I am really critical of these. I also read your blog for more information.

Nerve.com

1. Nerve allows me to be super picky and they weed out a lot of people. Unfortunately you have to PAY to contact them. This is why I enlisted the other two services. I should not have to pay a service to get some. I will not allow Nerve to be a pimp. I will be disconnecting shortly as I am not sure I want Nerve to be MY pimp.

Am I too picky? A girl’s got to have standards.

More later.

Coming soon (if we can scrape up the cash), Speed Dating- Jen vs. Keely