So today I had a little breakdown. I was in the middle of an email conversation (with that boy I stalked). He had asked if I had pets.

I have a cat named Louis that I found when I lived in the Co-op. I never saw myself with a pet, I only had fish growing up. He was a little west campus dumpster diving kitty that needed a home. I have had him for almost 10 years. He is a house cat during the winter and he tends to disappear a lot in the summer. He’s been M.I.A. for the last month though. This time I think he really may be gone for good. I had been preparing myself for the day that he didn’t come home but this will take some getting used to. I suppose there are worse ways to lose a pet. A friend of mine actually saw his cat get hit by a car. Other friends have had to deal with putting a pet to sleep.

Then I broke down. While I have always known that my illusive kitty would stop coming home one day, I hadn’t really prepared for it. Writing all of this down hit me really hard. I decided to pack up all of of Louis’ stuff and put it in the closet. Then I didn’t want to be in the house at all. went home. I needed my mom. I needed to cry. I needed a hug.

My mom did what mom’s are supposed to do. They let you get it out of your system. She was the keeper of my cat for awhile and new of his transient habits. She said that I should have called and she would have helped me pack up his stuff. I told her I thought I could handle it. She asked if I wanted a new cat. I told her I wasn’t ready for that. I wanted MY cat.

After I calmed down she showed me her latest sewing projects. I showed her the dress I was working on. It needed buttons. She had some in her stash that worked out. We watched Harry Potter. I sewed buttons on the dress. We talked and laughed and I felt better.

When I was about to leave she told me that she was happy that I stopped by unexpectedly. I told her I needed a hug, and buttons.