On that note; a new school year, new classes, new things to learn, and new job. This is me re-shuffling the deck and putting all the cards back in. Get ready for that killer hand, ’cause man, I’m sure I’m due for it to be dealt to me.

Maybe I should just be too busy for crazy, we know I have a lot to do this semester but, I’m not sure that being busy is really being truthful to myself. Yeah I’m enjoying it, I do like the direction my life is going now. Here’s the thing, really letting go, I need to make that decision. Being busy is a cop out. Not that it’s not valid or anything, just it’s not completely truthful.

I think I deserve better than crazy. In General crazy’s not bad, I just think my mental health would be much more positive if I didn’t have to worry about crazy. Maybe there’s some part of not worrying about crazy too much that I don’t really get. It is that balance thing.

In reality, that’s not how I see it working out. I’m not trying to be pessimistic here, just don’t think that trying to be less crazy is really an appropriate response to the situation.

I know I said it before but I have to cut the cord. I can’t just ask other people to cut me off, I have to make the decision myself. That’s the hard part I guess.

So, here’s to another school year starting, and trying to look upon things differently. Maybe by this time next year I’ll have figured out some of it. I’ll plan on that. If I make the plans for that, then I’ll be more likely to actually accomplish it by myself, you know?