This post is kind of all over the place, it’s more a stream of conscious writing exercise for me than anything else.  Sometime you just have to get stuff out of your head.  So sorry if it’s a little wonky.

I’ll start with Jazz music:

You know how in dancing there’s some people who just understand the musicality of it all and how things are supposed to fit together?  Well I’m beginning to feel like that about life in general.

There’s some people who get the nuances, and the little breaks.  Then there’s just some who don’t.  This is about the time of year when reflection hits me right on the head.  These were a few past bad years for me.  I wouldn’t say that I struggled a ton, but emotionally, I think I went through some stuff that’s helped me grow a lot.

It’s kind of like a jazz song (A-B-A-B-C-B-A). Stuff’s going ok, it gets bad, then it goes good again then it gets bad, then something out of left field happends, and then it gets bad, then it’s all good again.    I feel like my life the past two years has followed that structure. Well at least loosely.

Now I move on to baggage and stuff:

I guess what I’m saying is that my interpersonal relationships have followed this pattern.  Maybe here is the place that I look back on thoes bad and good time and say thanks.  I’m not sure if any of my ex’s still read this, but that’s ok.  Writing this is more for me than them.

So, yeah, thanks to you dudes who’ve dated me in the past few years.  Through thoes relationships, I’ve learned a lot about myself and they type of people I choose to be around, clearly you were not good enough for me.  And also, I’m finally thinking that I’m getting to a point where I’m learning to let go of some of the anger and bad feelings that I’m harboring.  Don’t get me wrong, I still feel wronged by thoes dudes, but it’s just not an important part of my life anymore.  I’m downsizing, I’m not carrying my usual 3 rolling suitcases full of baggage, now I have just a small backpack.  I’m working on getting it into an even smaller train case, but that will take time.  Where I’m at I feel pretty good about.

I bet that some of this is because of the recent events in my life, but isn’t that always how it goes?   The ebb and flow of the daily stuff makes the grander stuff more bearable.  Like I always say, it’s an adventure, and I’m always good for an adventure.  In fact, I’m the girl you want on an adventure with you.  I don’t carry a ton of stuff in my bag, but I’m usually more prepaired than most people, and I’m super good under pressure and in extreme situations.

OK, enough ramblings from me, I just needed to get that out. Sorry if it’s messy or vague, but I understand it, and if you know me well enough you’d understand it too.