I know I said 8 second delay, but I like this post a lot.  Also, I feel like this isn’t really going to incriminate anyone or be bad in any way, so I guess this doesn’t need the delay.

So I was out with 10HDG last night, and he got me thinking about stuff. (I love that!)  It’s been a while that I’ve met someone I feel like I click with this well, outside of my dudes that is. As I was coming home from going out to get green curry and coffee/drinks and we exchanged a few txt msgs.

I’m not going to divulge the exact messages, but they were adorable, albeit off-the-cuff.  Even so adorable that it might make you puke if I did, so I’ll spare you guys that.

The main thing was that we’ve been trying to figure out how this happened.  Now, as a note, there is a part of me that says: if it’s working this well, don’t worry about it.  But, I also realize that there is some amount of reflection on these things that makes them work even better.

Sure, we did meet on the interwebs.  But that’s me taking control. Putting myself in a position that allows me to be happy.  I really set myself up to have the best year ever.  I set a place for me to start, and worked really hard through this year to maintain the standard I wanted to have.  Yes, I won’t lie, there were times I allowed myself to get a little down, and all that, but in the end, I really am getting it.

I’m not going to go all nuts, I have no worries about it, and thus no need to go nuts.  And I think therein lies the answer I’m looking for.  I’m so happy now because of a multitude of things.  I feel super grateful to have my life and my family (both here and in Chicago).  I’m super grateful for how well I’m doing in school.  And as always, I’m super grateful for having a medium to post all of this.  I’ve set myself up to be happy, so no need to worry, just work on the being happy business.

This was the year that I really took the reigns of my own happiness.  I spent a lot of time thinking about the crappy stuff that’s happened, but I am also realizing that I need to be more thankful for all of it.  I wouldn’t say that I believe in fate so much as making a general plan, a starting place if you will, and just going with the spontaneity of where it leads me.

This all happens because I was/am ready for this. This happiness, this life, this everything.  My spanish profesora said the other day, “When you let go of all the negative stuff, and live in your own bliss, people are just naturally attracted to you.”  That along with the thing my father said to me, “Have the courage of your convictions” have been some really important things for me to hear and internalize this year.

You know how you hear stuff, but don’t really get it?  This was the year for me to get it.  Finally realizing that I did have the courage of my convictions all along, makes me live in my own bliss.  Next year and succeeding years are only going to get/be better.  Thanks for entertaining my musings on this.