photo by M cheese and nut roast crimini mushroom, walnut, cashew and gruyere terrine served with smoked tomato sauce and carrots

M and I went to dinner the other night.  It was a celebration dinner.  M finished her finals and I managed to get through 17 dates (playing by the original rules).   We ordered 2 appetizers, 2 entrees and a bottle of wine and spent just under $100.  I rarely go out to eat but when I do, I like to go all out.

The meal was phenomenal.  The flavors and textures were balanced.   After I took the second, bite I told M that I wanted to enjoy men like we enjoy good food; savor every bite, and when it’s gone, it’s gone.   I am having a hard time just living in the moment these days.  I want to go in with an open mind and heart but based on past experiences I am finding that difficult to achieve.

I went on an amazing date on Thursday.  I was very in the moment.  Friday I was giving the recap and I started to second guess myself. The crazy was trying to surface. Had I chosen the wrong thing to do or say?  Why hasn’t he called?  Should I call or send an email? What did it mean when he said X?

Why does it always go this way?  I decided that I just need to chill out and let things run their course.  If he calls, he calls.  If we go out again, great! If not, we had 2 really good dates.