My co-worker and I were once again discussing things that should not be discussed at work.   She is back in the dating game and she came into my office to ask what DTR meant?  I had absolutely no clue.  I asked her what planet the guy she was dating came from.  He’s a little older than me, meaning that he shouldn’t be one of those text talk people (you know, the ones who say “BTW, LOL, WTF, and such”).  After awhile I cheated and asked the urban dictionary. Apparently it means “define the relationship”. Whatever,  apparently my not knowing helped her win a bet.

WTF?  Why did that come up?  They have only been going out for about 6 weeks or so.  I told her that the only thing to be discussed is terms and conditions.  The “I would like to get to know you but I really don’t want to make 10,000 of your babies” type discussion.  Maybe the conversation about sharing your body with other people.  Kissing might be ok but, the whole involvement of someone elses genitalia is not.  Six weeks is not necessarily a time for discussing boundaries.

The next day she pops in my office to brief me on the follow up to the DTR.  Apparently they didn’t have any chats about the R.  I told her that he was probably just checking to see if he had a chance.  He happens to be significantly older than she is.

Then I had to drop the bomb and tell her that she should probably have the monogomy discussion.  Then I find out that she hasn’t even had the cooties discussion.  I told her that is one of the things that I ask BEFORE my underpants come off if I can help it.  Definitely before anyone climbs inside.  I told her there are to mandatory questions.  1) When was the last time you were tested? and 2) Have you had unprotected sex since then?

Then I climbed on my soap box and told her that she should be ontop of all of this stuff.  She is out there in the world and some people are not so careful.  I wasn’t trying to scare her but at the same time I felt the need to do what my friends have done for me and give her a swift kick of reality before the need for an emergency trip to the clinic arises.

Do I practice what I preach?  Hell, yes. I have endured the mandatory two question (preferably 10 question) exam.  I don’t sleep around. I am on birth control and I make sure to have condoms at ALL times.  That’s how I role.  No diseases and no human parasites.

I suppose the next inappropriate discussion will happen on Monday when I bring her a stack of condoms.

Be smart, be safe little readers.