Archive for the '17dates' Category

The early bird- Fun^3 flys again

by @ Saturday, September 11th, 2010. Filed under 17dates, boys, concerts, fun^3 fest, Music, note to readers, random musings, sxsw

Life has been way less organized these last few months little readers. I feel bad because M and I are growing our little ticket farm and we have neglected to remind you of the following:

And now it’s time to get to business…

Fun^3 Fest M and I are early birds once again.  But due to an odd shift in the cosmos, we did not win the lottery to purchase said early bird tickets.  The Jew and 2.0 were some how chosen instead of us.  WTF?!   How did this happen?  We told them about the lottery. I suppose we can’t complain.  We weren’t exactly rolling in dough at the time.  I suppose we should commend ourselves for selling the festival to two dudes based on previous experiences.

Now that the full line up and schedule have been completed, it is GOOGLE SPREADSHEET TIME!  You know that M and I are huge nerds when it comes to cramming as much festival goodness in as possible.

Stay tuned for more updates as we get closer to the show.  My plan for the weekend is to catch up on writing and sleep.


Dick move?

by @ Saturday, February 28th, 2009. Filed under 17dates, boys

I have been holding out on you, little readers.  It’s 2009 and I wasn’t sure if I should post the follow up on the cyclist.  We went on two more dates after my project ended.  I could tell that things weren’t going to amount to much (even before I read the book).   The originally scripted ending was for me to walk off into the sunset and not care if I heard from him again.  It’s 2009 and I was supposed to be enjoying men like I enjoy a good meal. Unfortunately the network decided that they didn’t like that ending and they wanted something a little more dramatic.

Check out this edited script…

<Jen is drinking coffee and reading her email. She almost chokes on the coffee when she sees that there is an email from the cyclist.  It had been over a month since she last saw him.>

<voice over reads the email>

Sorry about the radio silence. I’ve been pretty busy and I’ve also started seeing someone in that exclusive way which is going to tend to suck up time in the future. Anyway, I think you’re a great person and doing a lot of really neat things, and I hope to see you around town every once in awhile. I think we could have done better at forming a more solid foundation for our relationship, but I gotta say part of the weirdness was due to me and my crappy last relationship. Sorry about that.

Argh, and I just realized that I’m sending this on V-day, even though I’ve been thinking about it for awhile. I hope that is only a minor dick move.

The Cyclist

<Jen begins to feel the anger rise up. She is unsure what to do, then she does the only thing she can.  She begins to type furiously.>

<voice over reads the email>
Do you think that I was waiting for you? I could have sent you an email after my gchat account was deleted. I chose not to. It was pretty obvious that it wasn’t going to work. After our last lunch date I had pretty much written you off.

You freaked out about things moving to fast and said that you didn’t really know me that well. Well that’s because communication works both ways. There could have been more email. There could have been more phone calls. There just wasn’t. I could have forced it. I could have tried harder.  But that would have been a disservice to myself. I’ve been that girl. Never again.

Good luck

<Jen clicks the send button with a sense of accomplishment.  She fires out another round of email to her posse to let them know that her mama didn’t raise nobody’s doormat.>

I wanted to tell the network to go fuck themselves.  Bad food usually comes back to haunt you not too long after you eat it.  It doesn’t wait a month to cause you indigestion.

For the readers playing the at home game, yes, this is the 2nd time this year that a guy couldn’t commit to me but was ready once the next chick came around.  To the readers that have been paying really close attention, you may want to place your bets on when this one gets married.  The chances that he marries this girl are pretty high.  We are at 3 for 3 now.

PS. I hope it wasn’t a dick move for me to post those emails unedited on the internet.  If it was, my bad.


a good year

by @ Thursday, January 1st, 2009. Filed under 17dates, concerts, dating, fun^3 fest, to do list

Just like the Walkmen declared.  We said that 2008 was going to be a good year.  Not just a good year but the Best Year Ever!  I can’t say that it was mind-blowing but, it was definitely better than 2007. We picked up our tired, broken souls and we moved forward. “Out of the darkness and into the fire…”

For now I will give you the wrap up for 2008.  The best of 2008 will come later.

This year in live music: Brothers and Sisters; Quiet Lovely; Les Savy Fav; Ghostland Observatory; SXSW (What Made Milwaukee Famous, the Constantines, Shout Out Louds, NERD, Explorers Club, El-P, Dizzie Rascal, Dan Oh, Staccato, Flosstradamus, Fuokids, Cut Copy, Moby,  Ra Ra Riot, Bound Stems, MSTRKRFT, and Kimya Dawson);  Ra Ra Riot;  The Little Ones: Prince Paul; Tapes n’ Tapes; Flosstradamus; Thao and the Get Down Stay Down; Ratatat; Voxtrot; Cool Kids; David Byrne; Weezer; Tokyo Police Club; Girl Talk; Brothers and Sisters; FFF Fest (The National, Atmosphere, Deerhoof,… and You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead, Bishop Allen, Centromatic,  Parts and Labor, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Spinto Band, Frightened Rabbit, Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears, The Dead Milkmen, Clipse, Franki Chan, and Toxic Avenger); Rosebuds; and Matt and Kim.

This year in non-live music: I now own an iPod.  According to, my top 10 bands are: Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltzin, the Eels, Girl Talk, the Sea and Cake,Tapes n’ Tapes, British Sea Power, Frightened Rabbit, Wilco, Atmosphere, and the Pixies.  I do like these bands a lot but there is a problem with and the iPod scrobbling.  It doesn’t catch a lot of things that I listen to because I don’t sync my iPod frequently enough.

This year in Sewing: I taught a few more classes at FirstSamples.  I did some more alterations.  I taught M to sew and gave her a sewing machine to play with.  Designed a line for a fashion show and I entered a design contest. I volunteered at the Swap-o-rama-rama at Maker Faire.

This year in Bikes: I managed to ride my bike the 10 miles to Megan’s house and back.  I bought a “new” bike.  A Japanese Mixte that I stripped, repainted, and rebuilt.  It should be ready to ride in 2009. I learned how to be a better urban cyclist from M and the pedi-cab drivers downtown during SXSW.

This year on the interwebs: I redesigned (I also migrated the content from Blogger to WordPress).  I finally signed up for Twitter (I am bad about updating it).  I learned to love and hate facebook.  I abandoned myspace. I signed up for Goodreads and  I downloaded iTunes.  I’ve viewed countless things on YouTube.

This year in Movies: (theater) SXSW (Nerdcore Rising, Choke, Bananaz, and Bulletproof Salesman);   Iron Man; Juno (which is going to get my best sountrack award); Wanted; 21; Wall-e; and Milk. (dvd)  Four-eyed Monsters, Darjeeling Limited, Batman Begins, Cars, Rattatouille, One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, the Prestige, and Harry Potter (Goblet of Fire and Order of the Pheonix).

This year in Books: I signed up for Goodreads so I can actually keep track of what I am reading.  I also made use of my library card.  This is what I read: Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim – Sedaris, The Between Boyfriends Book – Chupack, Barrel Fever – Sedaris, Holidays on Ice – Sedaris, The Game – Strauss, The Sweet Potato Queen’s Field Guide to Men – Conner, Bringing Down the House – Mezrich, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay – Chabon, Heat – Buford, Strip City – Burana, Tropic of Cancer – Miller, The Sexual Politics of Meat – Adams, Little Birds – Nin, and Sex and Bacon – Lewis.

Here is the list of things I neglected to do in 2008 (in order of regret of not doing them) along with excuses for not doing them:

  1. Travel: It doesn’t have to be out of the country. New Zealand will probably be postponed until 2010 because my traveling buddy has a house to pay for. Now that I have a new car, I am thinking road trip. I would like to go back to some of the places I stopped during the geology road trip from hell (GEO 660).  No road trips. But I did manage a semi-high speed chase after the hit-and-run incident.
  2. Interact with real people (not on the internet). As more of my friends move away I realize that I want to spend more time with the people that are here. I will also need to branch out before I end up alone. I should also cut back on my internet stalking habit.  Still stalking on the internet. But I did manage to meet a bunch of new people this year.  I went on 17 dates.  That is more dates than I have been on in my entire 31 years of existence.  I made some new friends and I got to know a few friends a little better.

Not sure what 2009 will bring. I haven’t written up any plans just yet.  Here’s to another good year.


17 Dates – the wrap up

by @ Wednesday, December 31st, 2008. Filed under 17dates

It’s over.  I managed to get to 17 with a little time to spare. For those of you who haven’t been keeping up,  here are the dates in chronological order.  I don’t have write ups on all of the dates.  Just the first dates.  There’s usually some sort of follow up if I went out with someone more than once.  No whining!  Be happy that one of the writers around here finished the exercise.

The dates:

  1. Nature Boy ~
  2. Mystery Date
  3. Film Boy ~
  4. The Grad Student ~
  5. Speed Racer ~
  6. The Artist
  7. The Artist
  8. Guy on Bike *
  9. Napoleon Dynomite *
  10. The Redhead(*)
  11. The Redhead *
  12. The Redhead (*)
  13. Harry Potter (aka Obama guy) *
  14. Speed Dating
  15. The Cyclist ~
  16. Eeyore ~
  17. The Cyclist (*)

~denotes a coffee or beer date

*denotes a dinner date

( ) denotes a date where I didn’t pay

So what exactly did I learn?

  1. Meeting people organically is difficult.  The internet has it’s downfalls (shopping for men like sweaters in catalog), but in the end it was convenient.  There was one organic date (The Grad Student).
  2. My target demographic is riddled with smokers.  Why do people smoke when they are out drinking and listening to music? Not sure how to remedy this.  Wellbutrin in the water maybe?
  3. It is ok to let people pay for things.  This is a hard concept for me.  I don’t like owing people.  Some friends have said that my company should be enough to merit a free meal every now and then. If you were paying attention, I got two free dinners (Redhead & Cyclist).
  4. I should be dating someone a lot like M (but a boy, minus the crazy, and much taller).  A bit like Peter Pan, but with goals and responsibility. A combination of dorky and artsty.  I would like to find someone who compliments me not completes me.
  5. I have much to learn about the world of dating.  Thanks to all of my peeps for the wealth of knowledge they shared on this quest.  Thanks to the RJ, M, Meg (+husband), and Keely for the email counseling.
  6. It’s ok to let people in.  There are some people out there that will stomp on your heart but there are plenty more who will be there to help pick up the pieces (a life lived in fear is a life half lived).
  7. Out of 17 dates, there were 3 guys that stood out.  Guys that I really wanted to spend more time with.  Guys that my friends might actually get along with.  I went out with 2 of them more than once.
  8. I would like to try and date someone for more than just a few dates. Maybe someone who gets the title of boyfriend.  I haven’t had one of those in about 4 years. It’s time I learned how to share.
  9. There is no formula for dodging an awkward first date.  It just happens.  I can say that 2 of the first dates were not awkward at all.  Some were definitely more awkward for the guy (am I that scary?)  Awkward first date endings are equally hard to avoid.
  10. I made first contact with most of these guys. They asked me out as a result.  Not sure what to think of this.
  11. I am still carrying some emotional baggage.  I don’t think that this exercise made it worse.  I still have the train case.  I found some stuff hidden in the pockets though.
  12. I was a good idea to blog my way though this.  It has forced me to pay attention and I spent a lot of time reflecting on things while I transferred the contents of my journal to the internet.

Now here is the part where you come in readers.  Feel free to ask questions. Maybe I will post a recap interview in the near future.


Date #11 – the cyclist

by @ Monday, December 29th, 2008. Filed under 17dates

Date: December 4, 2008
Location: Epoch
Time: 8 pm
Duration of date: 1 hrs 30 min
Occupation: Computer Stuff
Age: 29

I stalked him a bit on the dating site and one day he IM’d me and we chatted for a bit.  He asked if I had found a way to get past the awkward first date thing.  I said that I was working on it.  I think the key is not to have the date completely planned out.  He said that he was pretty busy with work but he said that we should go on a horrible awkward 1 hour coffee date.

We sent a few quick emails and went out on Thursday.  I actually had a good time.  Meg was concerned because he reminded her of an ex-boyfriend that ran off.  I decided to proceed with caution.  I wanted to know if it would be horrible and awkward as promised.

I got to the coffeehouse first. It was finals week so students were either studying or sleeping in the chairs.   I grabbed a cup of tea and sat on the porch with my book (I am trying to read more).  He walks up and introduces himself.  He said he was going in for a drink and did I want anything (polite).  We talked about work. He asked if I had free time with the two jobs.  I explained that sewing was slow right now so I had free time.  We talked about the outdoors and camping.  Bikes were a big part of the conversation.  He bikes a lot. It used to be his main mode of transportation.  He was impressed that I am building a bike from scratch.  He asked if we could ride together sometime.  I warned him that I am by no means a strong rider but I would be up for it sometime.

Talking to him was easy.  I think he asked most of the questions though.  I was slightly distracted by his hotness. The hour went by pretty quick.  He mentioned that he needed to go but he wanted to hang out again.  Then the conversation went on for another 30 minutes.  I know that I could have detained him for longer but I know myself. The date ended with a nice hug.  I thought about kissing him but I knew that I would try and get him to take me home (I know myself too well).  He is going out of town this week for work and he said that he wanted to hang out when he came back.

Now here is the tricky part.  I liked this guy.  I didn’t want to f it up. I wanted to go on a second date.  I drafted an email (which M proofed for me).  I went for the short “it was nice talking to you, you should call me”.  I also wished him luck at his conference and told him that there were pictures of my bike online if he wanted to see it.

I got an email later that day with a promise of a call the following week and a compliment on the bike.  He said it would look good with a Brooks saddle.  The next day I got an email about a CL post for wheels, how thoughtful.

Stay tuned.


Date #12- Eeyore

by @ Wednesday, December 24th, 2008. Filed under 17dates

Eeyore as depicted by Disney (from wikipedia)

Date: December 5, 2008
Location: Red House
Time: 9:15 pm
Duration of date: 3 hrs
Occupation: Musician/Unemployed

So I wasn’t really sure about this dude.  We IM’d a little bit on the dating site.  I could tell he was into me.  He was more interested when I said that I liked whiskey (Is it so strange for a girl to like whiskey? M likes it too).

Anyways, the date was ok.  The conversation was all over the place.  I was a little concerned when it started out with politics and the subject of Ron Paul came up.  Then the dude said that he wanted to become a politician. Then the conversation moved to diet and weight loss.  He started talking to me like I was some diet clinic adviser.  What food should he eat?, Diets, Fasting, etc.  Why do I end up meeting guys that are total women about their weight?

We talked about fashion for a bit. He said he is really into clothes but he is more of a slave to fashion than someone who appreciates a well cut garment.  He had on a nice Armani jacket but it didn’t fit right.  He couldn’t raise his arms. A real fashionista wear a jacket that gave them McCain arms.

The date could have ended after 2 hours but some how it became 3.  I attribute it to the Motown era jams on the stereo.  It made this dude seem a little less depressing.  Maybe I need to go on a daytime date with this guy to find out if he is a real dud.

So, this guy sends me a text message the next day to see what I am up to.  I blew it off.  Then he called.  I was expecting a call from someone else so I picked it up (damn it).  After that I realized that I couldn’t deal with his eeyore-ness (yes, I make up words).


Enjoy it while it lasts

by @ Sunday, December 21st, 2008. Filed under 17dates, food

photo by M cheese and nut roast crimini mushroom, walnut, cashew and gruyere terrine served with smoked tomato sauce and carrots

M and I went to dinner the other night.  It was a celebration dinner.  M finished her finals and I managed to get through 17 dates (playing by the original rules).   We ordered 2 appetizers, 2 entrees and a bottle of wine and spent just under $100.  I rarely go out to eat but when I do, I like to go all out.

The meal was phenomenal.  The flavors and textures were balanced.   After I took the second, bite I told M that I wanted to enjoy men like we enjoy good food; savor every bite, and when it’s gone, it’s gone.   I am having a hard time just living in the moment these days.  I want to go in with an open mind and heart but based on past experiences I am finding that difficult to achieve.

I went on an amazing date on Thursday.  I was very in the moment.  Friday I was giving the recap and I started to second guess myself. The crazy was trying to surface. Had I chosen the wrong thing to do or say?  Why hasn’t he called?  Should I call or send an email? What did it mean when he said X?

Why does it always go this way?  I decided that I just need to chill out and let things run their course.  If he calls, he calls.  If we go out again, great! If not, we had 2 really good dates.


Date #10 – Harry Potter (aka Obama guy)

by @ Saturday, December 20th, 2008. Filed under 17dates, Eating faces

Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter (from wikipedia)

Date:November 4 , 2008
Location: Clay Pit, Dog and Duck Pub
Time: 7pm
Duration of date: ~4 hrs
Occupation: Techie/Film maker/Photographer
Age: 28

So I am back to online dating.  I signed up the weekend I was stuck inside with an ear infection.  I emailed this dude.  He seemed like an ok guy.  He emailed back and we decided to meet up sometime.  He called me on Election Day and asked if I was doing anything.  I had no plans so we decided that we would go out for dinner (but we had to go somewhere that had CNN or was near a place with CNN).  So dinner was at Clay Pit (yes, the same place I went on a date with Napoleon Dynomite).

I never do this but we decided to carpool (this meant that I had no escape plan).  I met him at his place and we ended up taking my car.  The date went well.  There weren’t any lulls in conversation and it wasn’t one sided.  After dinner we walked to Dog and Duck to check the election status.  Obama was ahead.  We ended up leaving and going for a walk around the Blanton.  Then we went back to his place.   His roommate had CNN on so I stuck around to see Obama win.

By that time, it was getting pretty late so I grabbed my stuff to go.  He walked me to my car. I decided that he would get a hug (not the awkward one).  He decided to go for it and kiss me.  Then he proceeded to eat my face like a steak and grope me (umm, I don’t know what gave him the idea that groping and eating my face was ok).

When I got home I checked Facebook (mainly to tell Adam that he could come out of hiding).  I checked HP’s site to see if he had anything to say about the election and I saw this…

Not sure what to think about that.  I was ready to drop him like a bad habit.

I got a text message the next day saying that he hoped that I was having a good night and to give me his email address.  I decided to ignore him.  I hadn’t heard back from my peeps about the Twitter post yet.  Thursday I was in east Texas for work but I got in touch with Meg and her man.  The verdict was that HP was hoping to get some on election night.  Celebration sex if Obama wins.  Then HP sends me an email, he wants to see  me again.  I decided to send a quick email to let him know that I was not available until the following week and MAYBE, we could do lunch.

A week later I wanted answers.  I asked him what he meant by the Twitter message.  Since I didn’t know him that well, I was going to give him a chance to explain.

I responded to your initial message not because you are black – I only responded because you and I seemed like perhaps we might be a decent match. Frankly, I was hoping that we would make out by the end of the night, and given Obama’s election would take up quite a bit of the discussion, I was hoping he’d win so we’d have an excuse to make out.
Such was the case, and it was quite enjoyable.

It was merely my calling out to the universe, “let Obama win so we can have an excuse to makeout or more even though we don’t know each other that well” sort of wish.
No more no less.

The reverse syntax of the statement would be something like:
“going on a date w/ a white guy on election night – win (candidate who is white in a parallel universe country that has never had a white president before) win!

Hope FFF fest was swell, if you want to meetup again that’s cool, if not, I enjoyed celebrating a little with you and wish you the best. I’m hopeful for a great turnaround of our country. Yes I comma splice like crazy.
call me if you wish
Harry Potter

I thanked Mr. Potter for his reply and said that I was weirded out by the Twitter message.  Usually when race comes up in my world, it is NOT a good thing.  I was tempted to give the dude a second chance but after consulting with my posse, the decision was to not go out with Mr. Potter again.


Attention Holiday Shoppers – Date #13

by @ Thursday, December 11th, 2008. Filed under 17dates, dating

So today was the day that I went Speed Dating.  Yes, little readers.  I am violating the 8 second delay rule for you (that’s dedication).

I went in there thinking, “I can do this.  I will be like the Dalai Lama.  I will not judge people.” ” I will not be that person that is referred to throughout Gladwell’s “Blink”.”  But apparently I can’t do that 2 days in a row.

I felt like I was in a store that had been raped by crazy holiday shoppers.  There were only a few items left.  Most of which were reindeer sweaters.  There were a few salvageable items but I think that they may end up in the pile of things that get returned (we will call them slightly imperfect).

So the deal with the Speed Dating is that you go on 10-15 5-minute dates.  Today they were skimpy on the dates so there were only 7 to endure (BTW. This means that I get to attend another session for FREE).You get a score card to write down notes.  At the end of the night you get to run home to the interwebs and fill out a form on the website to say who you want to see again.

First off, I was completely out of my element.  The event was in a bar downtown that I never go to.  Granted the live sharks were a good topic of discussion so I can’t complain too much.  But seriously.  There must be a better venue for this uncomfortable situation.  Maybe a coffee shop.

So here is the rundown of my dates for the night.  I had a lot of down time so I wrote up some notes in my journal (I am a good analoguer).

  1. Military guy- first thing I noticed was that his fly was OPEN.  Not down, but slightly ajar.  This dude was not impressive and he is apparently moving in 2 months.
  2. The foreigner- apparently he is a freelancer working for the man.  He decided to come to the event because he is in town visiting relatives and wanted to make friends. WTF mate.  He is supposedly into volleyball.  A CL post would have been much cheaper.
  3. M’s cousin (sort of)- So an acquaintance of mine popped up the mix.  We caught up during our 5 minutes.
  4. Seattle transplant – This guy I could actually hang out with again.  Dork boy with social skills.  Although not quite my type.  The one thing that really stuck out was that he said that I looked like I was one of those people who lived downtown.  I guess my outfit was more artsy/urban than usual.
  5. The waiter-  before you guys start on me and my judgements, I have NOTHING against waiters.  They actually make more than chefs in many establishments. This guy fits in more with my crew but I’m not really into dudes without hair.
  6. IT/musician- This dude had social skills too.  Not into him though.
  7. Guy I barely remember- I was getting tired of this thing.  I remember him being from the east coast.  I saw him and all I could think was, “reindeer sweater”

Most of the conversations started out with the usual where do you work, live?  What do you do in your free time.  After the 1st one I was ready to start making shit up.  I often turned the discussion to the sharks.  I wanted to test these dudes to see if they know much about the downtown area.  Most people were unaware of the PETA/ASPCA issues and the fact that bar owners are not skilled in the area of shark caretaker.    I also talked about my vast knowledge of water quality and the fact that if you go to the right faucet you will get your water with a shot of prozac (but you didn’t hear that from me kids).

Now that the dates are over I filled out my scorecard (and had a big piece of chocolate cake from the Real Jew’s B-day party). Unfortunately you didn’t get to grade the dudes on a scale of whether or not you wanted to see them again (not on your life to HELL YEAH!).  The options were yes or no.  I said that I would be willing to see 4-6 again.  I will most likely run into 3 because we have mutual friends.

in 24 hours I should receive some sort of notification on who wants to see me again.

Stay tuned (and stay warm)


If I get to choose I’m going to pick exactly what I want.

by @ Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008. Filed under 17dates, dating

So I was chatting with M and Meg the other night  (very rare occasion) and M decided to post what I said on her twitter (she posted the abridged version)…

“If I have choice of sweater, I’m going to pick the one I want. If someone gifts me one, I’m not going to send it back, unless it’s an ugly ass reindeer sweater.

A few years back I posted a list of things that influence my online man shopping habit.  Three years later I can say that the same list applies.  Sure, I might be missing out on a few people because they portrayed themselves as a douchebag in their profile.  But hey, it’s not my fault.  If the sites added some sort of free shipping/free returns policy (like my beloved Zappos) I would be all for a trial run (this is why I am Speed Dating next week).

Now if someone who doesn’t meet all of my “requirements” and decides to ask me out, I will not say no.  If you have been following up on the 17 dates thing, do you think that I would have asked out  Napoleon Dynomite?

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