So, yeah I know the Internet houses some deep dark stuff that’s not meant to be read by people, but if you’re advertising then I might some day come across your information so do me a favor and be aware of that when you post stuff.

On that note, Yeah I was doing it today, I was internet stalking. Insert shameful face here. It’s just that some of my friends have had such good luck that I thought I might find something magical.

Maybe this is too private, but what the heck: I was on a friend’s myspace page flipping through their comments section. Let it also be noted here that I’ve quit the myspace because of incidents like this that I was afraid of happening. In the comments section I found pictures of someone I thought I’d never see again. It was the ex-boyfriend that cheated on me.

I guess the most disturbing thing wasn’t the picture; it was that the picture was recent and it was with the girl he cheated on me with (and her head is on his shoulder in the picture). ACK! It’s not like I’m still holding a candle for this guy, I mean let’s face it, he did cheat on me, but that’s not something you’d expect to see out there randomly in the interweb business. Or maybe it is, and I guess what I’m saying is that it just caught me off guard.

It is all starting to make sense; i.e. he cheated on me with her, now he’s with her, hmmn funny how that works out sometimes. (Not like I didn’t see that one coming a mile away.)

I could go all crazy and be like “Did you cheat on me more than once? How long were you cheating?” but I’m starting to ask myself what would be the use in that? I guess in some ways seeing that picture is a little more closure for me. I’ve been so angry for so long, but now I get it a little more.

I’m starting to freak myself out here. Re-reading this is starting to sound like a something out of that movie “Mean Girls” or something, but where else can I post stuff like this, no one’s really going to read this anyhow.

Let me tell you friends, if you’re not prepared to find the worst, then don’t go looking, you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble. Now let’s just hope that I remember this valuable lesson next time I decide to go interweb stalking.

After my last rant I decided that it was best for me to not write for a bit. I put myself in time out. To those of you who know me, it isn’t that unncommon of an occurrance. While in time out I still blogged in other places, just not here.

I was little miss grumpy pants and as Jordan says, “a grumpy jen is noooooo fun.”

I had a Deja vu moment not to long ago. I got a sticker, from a DJ. Had this not just happened a few months ago I would have thought nothing of it.

But…

In my quest for fresh blog material, I was digging through old emails and found a conversation between myself and Em about the last DJ…

> Yeah, that’s too bad about the DJ, cause you know DJ’s are always hot…
> any dude that puts on headphones, stands behind some decks and bounces his
> head around is always going to be hot. Ha…

The head bobbing… Em and I caught the end of MSTRKRFT’s set during SXSW. The music and the head bobbing, such a turn on.

Luckily I haven’t seen the whole head bobbing thing yet. Besides, I didn’t know this one was a DJ until the sticker was handed out. I met the former one at a party he was DJing at. Slightly diffferent, no?

Then I reminded myself of the internet stalking with the other DJ. For starters, they all put their web address on the sticker. The web address usually leads to some sort of blog and/or MySpace page. Then there is music to download and listen to while you read everything they wrote.

Yes, internet stalking is bad. But it is their fault for giving me the sticker in the first place.

Yet I write to you, people of the internet.

I mean it, I don’t like sharing. I blame my younger sister for this. I shared a room with her when we were little. When she was about 3, she packed up her stuff and moved to my mom’s sewing room/the guest bedroom. She wanted her own space (and she had my mom paint it pink, a very scary shade of pink).

Anyways, as much as I don’t like to share, I don’t mind sharing my bed. I rather like sleeping next to someone. Crazy right? It’s not like I have an enormous bed to fill. I just like it. I don’t need to spoon for the entire night. I sleep on my stomach so the side sleeping doesn’t work. It’s the knowing that someone is there.

I mentioned in a past post that I do dock points for lack of dorkiness. I was checking out some guy’s website and I started docking points for coding errors and layout issues (I did toss him a few extra points for some cool graphics and use of CSS). I wonder if they judge me when I fuck up my coding? I doubt it.

Anyways, I just overhauled another website. I was a little annoyed by the request to change it (this is a freebie) but I figured that I should think of it as an opportunity for me to stay on top of my game.

Check it out www.collectiveselection.com

About 9 years ago I made an attempt to domesticate this cat. Sure he may look like some average lazy-ass house cat, but that is only during the winter. As soon as spring hits, he is out the door. New baby animals, BEWARE. Louis was a dumpster diving kitty before we rescued him, part of him will remain that way forever.

Every year I take him to the vet and get lectured on what a bad pet owner I am. I should keep the cat inside. He will live a longer life (the cat is atleast 10, I think he has lived way past the lifespan of the average dumpster diving cat.

So, why am I babbling about the cat? Megan is concerned that one day I will be feral like my cat.

So what exactly does that mean?

I asked the Wikipedia.

“A feral animal is one that has reverted from the domesticated state to a stable condition more or less resembling the wild.”

She’s basically concered that lack of contact with actual human beings will ruin my whole ability to socialize/communicate with others. In some ways I agree (I might consider myself socially challenged), but in reading the definition it doesn’t say that being feral is a bad thing. It can lead to diversification of the species (but I don’t think that excuse is going to fly with Meg)

A while back, Meg established the rule that I needed to be out and about with people atleast twice a week. I could hermit all I wanted for the rest of the week. But there is a flaw in that requirement. Going out to a concert counts as being out and about with people. Even if I go alone. If I am not going out to meet up with people I am still capable of withdrawing completely.
One show that sticks out is the Of Montreal show I went to at Emo’s. I was tired, it was cold out, the venue was crowded and smokey. I was grumpy. I didn’t talk to anyone and I pretty much spaced out and enjoyed the music. Once I got past the doorman asking for my ID and stamping my wrist I was done interacting with people. Usually I am not that bad, but I find myself doing that more often lately. I caught myself zoning out a few times like that during SXSW.

My not meeting new people is partially my fault for closing myself off. But it is partially the rest of the world’s fault for not letting me in.

As for the cat, well, maybe he will be a full-time house cat in his next life.

Cellphones should have a breathalizer attached to them to prevent people from drinking and dialing. Why? Because no good can come from it. Alcohol is either liquid courage or truth serum. Pick your poison. What makes it worse is that you can do the damage of a nulclear weapon and have no recollection of it the next day (unless your friends save the voicemail messages that you left).

Em and I make a point of deleting numbers that we could potentially call PRIOR to going out and drinking. The first to go are ex-boyfriends, then ex-fuckbuddies, then people that you really shouldn’tbe calling in a drunken stupor.

Friends don’t let friends dial drunk.

I will save drunken email stories for some other time.

I recently admited that I am a neat freak. My mom thinks I have OCD. I chalk it up to the need for order in my slightly-topsy-turvy-at-times life. I don’t really have a problem with other people being messy I can understand that not everyone uses cleaning as their comfort activity.

Messes/clutter to be avoided:

• Things that could potentially become a science fair experiment: I had a roommate who horded dishes in their room and I lived in a co-op where there were several people who seemed to forget to put the dishes in the kitchen to be washed.
• Clothing: The dirty stuff that could probably walk on its own.
• Things that you don’t want other people to know that you have: don’t leave your unmentionables lying around if you don’t want to answer questions.

Ok, so I have found myself using the internet for evil once again. I am merely researching a boy. First the standard name search via Google. Then I cruised the usual hangouts for someone my age… MySpace and Friendster (applying my usual scrutiny).

Am I stalking him? I don’t think so. Especially when I look at what Amelie did when she was “studying” Nino. Granted there is a lot of information that you wouldn’t normally find out about a person on the internet. But most of the time it is the fault of that person for being careless in filling out forms online.

Things that Google might dig up (other than your personal website):

• Education- Colleges, extracurricular activities
• Employer
• Stuff you reviewed (on amazon)
• Forums that you post on.

…all of this with just your first and last name (and maybe your location)

Once you find an email address you can find out more.

You’d think that since I was so good at locating stuff on people that I wouldn’t leave such a crumb trail myself. I figure why not. It’s already been determined that I can’t run for office.

That’s right. I Myspace stalked you. Sure I could just play it off as ‘just checking out your page’ but I want you to know I know.
I decided to do a little background check on you. You with your full lips and twinkling eyes. I thought, “Surely this temptress has a girlfriend…I mean, really, look at that ass!” And I was right.
Funny, your profile says SINGLE but there she is smiling at me from her number four spot in your “Top 8″.
I KNOW she was not there LAST WEEK.
Then all of sudden, number four. And Glitter Kittens are showing up in your comment section mewling over sparkly yarn that spells out “I miss you”. She’s writing silly inside jokes about what you two did last weekend. OH and she’s got her profile set to straight and you, yes you mister are her number one of eight AND the only boy…so her little “In a Relationship” seems to point to you.

Very smart making her number four and not number one. A spot so prominent would cause idle chatter. And of course your best friend is in the number one spot. I checked him out too, so nice to see that he wishes you and your new GIRLFRIEND well. So SINGLE? I don’t think so, I think I’ll trust your best friend’s comment on this one. Your best friend of 9 years whom you met at a party in college, who still parties like a sophomore, who’s favorite movie is Die Hard. You know Die Hard, right? Good, cause that’s what the sparks that were to burn into the splendid flame of our love are going to do.
Did you think I wouldn’t see her? Did you think that the fact that she is next to you in one of her pictures AND a completely different one of your pictures would go unnoticed?

Listen, do me a favor spanky, don’t flirt with me if you are not going to follow through. I am not about all talk and no action. All talk sucks like your myspace page.