I got a double dose of DJ’d music this week.  I don’t know  what it is with the head-bobbing dudes and their giant headphones, but I want to make them all my future ex-husband.

Thursday night, M and I went downtown to see Flosstradamus spin.  We were a bit annoyed with the fact that the show was on a Thursday and that it was at Red 7.  On top of that, there were two openers and Flossy wasn’t going to hit the stage until 12:30.  We decided to camp out at the home bar and drink for cheap until the show started.

The set got off to a good start but then it got lame.  I though things would improve when the dudes mixed in the song from the Lion King and someone on stage lifted up the fan like Simba.  No such luck.

Friday night I went to Sock Hop vs. Soul Happening.  I put on a party dress (pink gingham halter dress), fluffed up the afro and hit the Mohawk.There is something to be said about live dj-ing on actual records.  These guys went the extra mile by spinning 45’s.

SSSH  ended up winning the battle.  They had better transitions and they had the crowd dancing until they could dance no more.

(David Weaver) A-List photos from the Austin Monthly bachelor issue release party at Gables Park Plaza on 07.27.10.

M and I went on an adventure Wednesday night.  Well, it wasn’t the quite adventure that we had planned it to be.

For a few years, M has wanted to check out the Austin Monthly Bachelor Party.  She’s come close but never made it into the door.  This year, due to her web 2.0 skills, she was able to RSVP for the both of us to get in.  The plan was to get dressed up and meet some interesting dudes.

I arrived at M’s in a ridiculously short dress and heels (I don’t usually wear short dresses.  I am already a tall girl.  Short dresses and heels make my legs look freakishly long).  M threw on something equally daring and we set off for the Gables (BTW.  these are some very nice, but expensive, apartments).

We arrive and there is valet parking (score!). The attendants showed their appreciation for the outfits (they were cute).  We have only made one snarky comment on the way to the table to sign in.  Things were good.  Or so we thought.

We arrive at the party, only to realize that we are the misfits.  Two lone hipsters in the plastic jungle (riddled with Cougars, I might add).  It was like some ladies night on West 6th with dollar drink specials (oddly there were no men cashing in on this).  Everywhere you turned, label after designer label.  At least there were free drinks.  Grey Goose was a sponsor so M and I started on Vodka (survival tactic).

We did a lap and decided to go outside and observe the wildlife from the other side of the glass.  we grabbed a copy of the magazine so we could do some research before the formal introduction started.  Most of the guys seemed really interesting.  There were some we considered adding to our list of future ex-husbands.

When we went back inside we discovered a field of gift bags by the door (and a girl wearing something that resembled an Ikea pillowcase that was trying to be a dress).  We didn’t feel like carrying anything, besides drinks, so we left them behind (after checking out the loot inside).  The bachelor intros were…(well there is no better way to say it)… Lame!  First of all, there wasn’t a mic.  The MC, host, whatever she was, ended up using the DJ’s headphones.  You could barely her her adlibbed intros over the commentary from the jungle floor.  When all was said and done, we took advantage of a few photo ops, grabbed some wine, and went outside.

We did a lap around the patio to confirm that we were, in fact ,the misfits.    Oh well.   It was getting late so we made one last ditch effort to communicate with the one bachelor that we would actually run into  in real life.  There was a split second when the Fun^3 Fest guy wasn’t surrounded with cougars and we took a chance and inquired whether or not he was bringing Sleigh Bells.  Then we asked if any other people asked about the fest.  In this crowd.  Only one person.  We chatted for a bit about music stuff and a mutual friend.  Then we asked who we should contact if we wanted to get press passes.  It was obvious that he was looking for fan girls to fawn over him vs. people that are interested in his business.   Not at all what I expected.

Overall, it was a not-so-eventful night. M and I caught up on a few things and got to test drive some dresses that hadn’t made it out of the closet yet.

Superman/Clark Kent - Superman Fan Art (546265)

…are never in the same place.  The same is true of M and myself when it comes to relationships.   One of us is always single.

I mentioned it to 2.0 a week or so ago and he asked if we did it on purpose so someone could be there for support.  I said that was not the case.  It just happens.

Thursday night before the Flossy show, M and I went through the full chronology of our friendship and I was right.  She asked if she should ditch 2.0 so I could date someone [Obviously she was kidding.]   I told her that it really shouldn’t have to be that way.  One of these we will go on a double date.  Just not now.

Recently I’ve received a few apology letters from boys that I went on a handful of dates with.  I don’t know what it is, maybe they thought I was still hung up on them, b/c they were just that wonderful. Ha! yeah right.

Went on about two dates with each, had an alright time, but there was really nothing there that compelled me to want to go on more  dates with either of them.  I would go if they asked and probably would also have had an alright time.  However, neither was smart enough, interesting enough, or really hot enough that I would take time to try to make plans.

The hysterical thing is, they must have hugely inflated egos.  Why would you need to apologize to someone you only went on two dates with after you (maybe in an unsaid manner, but still) mutually agreed that it wasn’t really all that worth it.

Boys: I was just being polite, it was clear that neither of you understood my intellect.  This is not to say that I’m smarter (I don’t need to say that, I know, you know, and we know it).  I just have a different way of thinking about things, from you.  I admit I’m a bit kooky, crazy even, but I’m sure as hell you’ve never met anyone quite like me.

I think it goes without saying that they also didn’t bother to get my point of view, and perhaps that’s the most important part of it all. They never tried to understand my sarcasm.  I know that’s partially my fault too, maybe I wrote them off too early.  But in all honesty, I feel that anyone who’s worth my time, will show me almost instantly.

It’s a little cocky on your part to think that I’d be hung up on you.  So, sorry to burst your bubble, but truth is, I know I deserve, and have better people in my life.  It’s even a little rude to send those e-mails.  I know why you did it though, to bolster your ego, and I’m ok with that. As long as you can sleep at night.  The only thing is that it’s a bit unfair to bolster your ego at the expense of someone else.

More than anything else, the e-mails made me mad.  However, I do also know it’s not worth my time to bother responding.  Go on, off into the ether. Thanks for playing, but you loose.

Here’s an excerpt from the e-mails, it’s great for a laugh: He titled his e-mail “Sorry”

I am too genuine to even let a trite 2 date thing let go.  So I am sorry for not responding to you.  I was in a place.  I liked you, but I didn’t want to expose you to things so I just….let it go. It’s the crap that I complain about, and I did it myself.  So, I am sorry for not at least saying….something.  Because it’s rude, and I’d be pissed too.  I hope things are going better for you now.  It is a thing I hate for me to be just “another asshole guy”.  Because I try to be nice.  I am a “nice guy” and actually pretty sick of it.

Genuine? Really? Um, if you were a real man you would have said something at the time.  I was ok just letting it go, srsly.

It is a”thing” for me to be misunderstood.  I lose it when someone doesn’t understand what I’m saying.  And it’s why I never responded.  So there.

Uh, dude, you’re misunderstood because you don’t know how to communicate clearly and concisely. You’re going to blame me for not understanding you?  That’s not on me buddy.

But I cut it short.  I was afraid to see.  If you haven’t noticed already, it’s all or nothing with me  I’m supposed to do “me time” but, I know what I want.  Sort of.  Maybe..  I guess I felt I should say these things.  Just so I am not “another” asshole.  I used “quotes” a lot here.  Oh well..
Uh…./emo off

Get over yourself dude.

Here’s the other one I got.  This one didn’t so much make me angry, but more confused.  I still didn’t really think there was much in common here, but it was a much nicer e-mail than the “I’m really a nice guy, so I have to tell you, but I can’t communicate or be bothered to try to.”
I think this one is more about hoping I’ll respond and maybe he can go on more dates with me. Sorry dude. It wasn’t terrible, but I have better/more important people to spend time with.

Hey M,
I just wanted to wish you happy Summer. I know with so many things going on that we went apart but I had a really great time with you.  You possess that rare quality of beauty and intelligence that I’m finding is incredibly rare here and everywhere in the world.

However, it was nice that he said I am intelligent. At least this dude bothered to try to get that.  I bet if I saw him out somewhere, I’d be polite, maybe even buy him a drink.  I doubt I’ll run into him though.

I have a coworker that has been dating a guy for 5 years and currently lives with him.  His title, “manfriend”.  I use this word quite a bit.  Yenta finds it amusing.  I told her it was a convenient term to use, it’s also more PC than saying “dude I’m sleeping with”.  Besides, the last person to hold the title of “boyfriend” soiled it for future use.

According to the Urban Dictionary

Manfriend
-someone who you hook-up or have sex with but specifically are not dating.

-A male significant other that possesses a higher level of maturity than the typical “boyfriend”. It is usually a term used by women that have very high standards in a relationship and do not have the patience to tolerate immature bullshit.

I recently went out with a dude with a beard (It’s a sensible, trimmed, full-beard/moustache combo.  A good accessory for one of those corduroy jackets with elbow patches).    I met him on the internet and based on the photos, I had a 50/50 chance of facial hair.  For those of you who know me, this is a rarity.  I’ve lucked out and for the most part I have dealt with minimal face fuzz (sideburns, goatee, 5 o’clock shadow).  Would I stop going out with a guy because of facial hair decisions alone?  Probably not.  But if he were to go crazy and shave his beard into the porn stache, or trim the sensible beard into a chin beard… he may have to go.

In the meantime, I have a friend who’s woman WANTS him to grow some facial hair.  I have no clue why.  He is totally opposed to the idea.  I think he has grown a ridiculous soul patch to appease her.

For those of you on the hunt for dudes with ’staches, Misprint magazine is hosting their 4th Annual Beard and Moustache Contest on February 19th at the Mohawk

I continue to do the same thing over and over.  It’s like I see it coming, so I batten down the hatches and prepare for the fight, thinking this one will be different. “If I can just get through this, then it’ll all be ok.” Then it ends, and we’re both heartbroken and generally broken.  That’s not to say that I don’t believe time heals all wounds, because I do.  I  think that’s maybe the reason why I continue this behavior.  It’s a different fight each time, but I’ll still push and fight to the teeth.

So, yeah, it happened.  I kinda had a feeling it would from the very beginning, it usually does.  I’m usually the one to get broken up with, I’m just too much of a fighter to not go down swinging.

The problem is, that I never remember this feeling when I’m beginning the fight. It’s like this new fight has erased all the other horrible ones from my memory.  And I think, “This time it’s different.”  But really, it never is, it might be about something different, but the outcome is the same, I have to eventually give up.  The giving up part is harder than the actual fight for me.  I’m so determined, and so stubborn, that each time it’s worse.

This begs the question, How much is too much?  How much can I put up with and know it is or will be worth it in the end.  Am I just going to continue this vicious behavior in every relationship?  Or will I eventually be so broken, like Muhammad Ali with Parkinson’s, left trembling and almost incomprehensible?

I want so desperately for my life to be a movie, the happy ending and all that but it never turns out that way.  And I know this, its something I tell myself all the time. However, telling yourself something and believing it are two different things.

It’s just not good enough anymore.  To continue fighting for things that I know won’t pan out is insanity.  From this point on, I’m deciding that I’m only going to put into a relationship exactly what I’m getting out of it.

Can someone please remind me of this next time I start getting ready for the end fight scene?  I’m not going get all cynical here and swear off men.  I’m not even going to banish particular ones to the closet of misfit toys.  I just need help with the perspective thing.

I was inspired to harness the power of social networking after M forwarded a tweet from a guy who was looking for a date.

Alright, twitter friends, I need a date. With a girl. Just dinner and such. PS-I have a job and a car. RT! RT!

Simple and to the point. Apparently this guy decided it was worth a try to use twitter to get a date before the end of the year vs. paying for internet dating sites.   I am curious to see how that goes.

M and my sis made an attempt to find me a date on Twitter last February.  I think the failure was that the “ad” took 3 to 4 tweets.  This time I went with something simple.

In my head this was safer than posting or trolling on CL to keep myself entertained this winter while M is on vacay.

I should have posted this BEFORE heading out to the Mo Stash Bash last night.

So in honor of men’s health awareness,  I left the house to go check out the mustachioed dudes of Austin.  For the low price of $10, I got the Burt Reynold’s pass which included 2 raffle tickets, a collectors mug and FREE BEVERAGES (Maker’s was a sponsor).

The evening wasn’t as entertaining as I expected. Where were all of the mustachioed dudes of Hipstertown (probably at home because this event started at 7)?  This event was a month in the making.  A whole month of not shaving.  That should be plenty of time to groom that chia pet on your face.   I was hoping to find all the staches listed on the website but fell short.   I had packed a camera and intended to do some interviews on the month long facial fuzz experiment but I was uninspired.   The best stache was a fake one rocked by a chick dressed as Yosemite Sam.

The highlight of my evening was when two boys (probably in elementary school) on drum and guitar rocked out to Rush’s Tom Sawyer.

I will probably hit Man Fest at Bird’s this weekend.  If you are lucky, you will get a full stache report.

So this year I was supposed to be enjoying men like a good meal.  Enjoy it while it lasts, and when it’s gone, it’s gone.

So maybe this wasn’t the best plan for keeping things simple.

M and I are into food.  Sure we may be finished with something but we often want to know more about the meal.  What herbs and spices were used, was that a hint of carrot, etc… Sometimes we make an attempt to recreate something we had out.  Or use elements of a good meal in some other dish.

So, my last “dining” experience was awesome.  I tried to put it behind me, but two weeks later I find myself analyzing it and trying to find out why it was so good in the hopes of recreating it.  Or thinking somewhere back in my head that maybe I could go back for more.

BAD!

I need to convince myself that this place serves local/seasonal and I can’t go back and get the same thing.  The service may start to suck.  Something!