Superman/Clark Kent - Superman Fan Art (546265)

…are never in the same place.  The same is true of M and myself when it comes to relationships.   One of us is always single.

I mentioned it to 2.0 a week or so ago and he asked if we did it on purpose so someone could be there for support.  I said that was not the case.  It just happens.

Thursday night before the Flossy show, M and I went through the full chronology of our friendship and I was right.  She asked if she should ditch 2.0 so I could date someone [Obviously she was kidding.]   I told her that it really shouldn’t have to be that way.  One of these we will go on a double date.  Just not now.

Recently I’ve received a few apology letters from boys that I went on a handful of dates with.  I don’t know what it is, maybe they thought I was still hung up on them, b/c they were just that wonderful. Ha! yeah right.

Went on about two dates with each, had an alright time, but there was really nothing there that compelled me to want to go on more  dates with either of them.  I would go if they asked and probably would also have had an alright time.  However, neither was smart enough, interesting enough, or really hot enough that I would take time to try to make plans.

The hysterical thing is, they must have hugely inflated egos.  Why would you need to apologize to someone you only went on two dates with after you (maybe in an unsaid manner, but still) mutually agreed that it wasn’t really all that worth it.

Boys: I was just being polite, it was clear that neither of you understood my intellect.  This is not to say that I’m smarter (I don’t need to say that, I know, you know, and we know it).  I just have a different way of thinking about things, from you.  I admit I’m a bit kooky, crazy even, but I’m sure as hell you’ve never met anyone quite like me.

I think it goes without saying that they also didn’t bother to get my point of view, and perhaps that’s the most important part of it all. They never tried to understand my sarcasm.  I know that’s partially my fault too, maybe I wrote them off too early.  But in all honesty, I feel that anyone who’s worth my time, will show me almost instantly.

It’s a little cocky on your part to think that I’d be hung up on you.  So, sorry to burst your bubble, but truth is, I know I deserve, and have better people in my life.  It’s even a little rude to send those e-mails.  I know why you did it though, to bolster your ego, and I’m ok with that. As long as you can sleep at night.  The only thing is that it’s a bit unfair to bolster your ego at the expense of someone else.

More than anything else, the e-mails made me mad.  However, I do also know it’s not worth my time to bother responding.  Go on, off into the ether. Thanks for playing, but you loose.

Here’s an excerpt from the e-mails, it’s great for a laugh: He titled his e-mail “Sorry”

I am too genuine to even let a trite 2 date thing let go.  So I am sorry for not responding to you.  I was in a place.  I liked you, but I didn’t want to expose you to things so I just….let it go. It’s the crap that I complain about, and I did it myself.  So, I am sorry for not at least saying….something.  Because it’s rude, and I’d be pissed too.  I hope things are going better for you now.  It is a thing I hate for me to be just “another asshole guy”.  Because I try to be nice.  I am a “nice guy” and actually pretty sick of it.

Genuine? Really? Um, if you were a real man you would have said something at the time.  I was ok just letting it go, srsly.

It is a”thing” for me to be misunderstood.  I lose it when someone doesn’t understand what I’m saying.  And it’s why I never responded.  So there.

Uh, dude, you’re misunderstood because you don’t know how to communicate clearly and concisely. You’re going to blame me for not understanding you?  That’s not on me buddy.

But I cut it short.  I was afraid to see.  If you haven’t noticed already, it’s all or nothing with me  I’m supposed to do “me time” but, I know what I want.  Sort of.  Maybe..  I guess I felt I should say these things.  Just so I am not “another” asshole.  I used “quotes” a lot here.  Oh well..
Uh…./emo off

Get over yourself dude.

Here’s the other one I got.  This one didn’t so much make me angry, but more confused.  I still didn’t really think there was much in common here, but it was a much nicer e-mail than the “I’m really a nice guy, so I have to tell you, but I can’t communicate or be bothered to try to.”
I think this one is more about hoping I’ll respond and maybe he can go on more dates with me. Sorry dude. It wasn’t terrible, but I have better/more important people to spend time with.

Hey M,
I just wanted to wish you happy Summer. I know with so many things going on that we went apart but I had a really great time with you.  You possess that rare quality of beauty and intelligence that I’m finding is incredibly rare here and everywhere in the world.

However, it was nice that he said I am intelligent. At least this dude bothered to try to get that.  I bet if I saw him out somewhere, I’d be polite, maybe even buy him a drink.  I doubt I’ll run into him though.

I don’t care if douchebaggery isn’t a word.  I needed a good descriptor for what is to follow.

<soapbox>

I got a disturbing round of texts yesterday about the use of a friend’s photos in their ex’s new online dating profile.  Really?  Specifically about a picture taken with their pet.  Seriously,  pictures with your ex’s animal(s) do not score you points in the sensitivity arena.  How do you handle the questions about said animal in chats or on the first date?  Do you make up a story about how fluffy was hit by a car and it has been a hard few years, but now you can finally deal with the loss?  Inquiring minds want to know.

A long time ago, the staff put together a few lists of profile do’s and don’ts (here, and here).  As always, I say skip using your past to advertize your present self.  How hard is it to get a friend to take a few pictures?  If you don’t have friends, try a fucking camera with a tripod and timer.  My cheap ass netbook does a good job of taking profile pictures.

</soapbox>

So M and I buy tickets for shows during pre-sale or within seconds of tickets going on sale.
This is Austin, venues are small, shows WILL sell out.  When we tell you to buy your tickets, you should listen.  90% of the time we are right.

M bought the tickets for the upcoming Passion Pit/Tokyo Police Club show the day they went on sale. As always, we debated the need for an extra pair of tickets just in case.  We had a feeling that it would sell out fast so we decided to get them and deal with them later.

We bought our tickets for Miike Snow and the Middle East during SXSW (after we stumbled home from the Spin party).  We didn’t know if we would be available on those dates but we knew we couldn’t wait.  We ended up buying two extra tickets for Miike Snow because we knew that inevitably, one of our friends would forget to buy their ticket.

We attempted to get tickets to the Phoenix show (I gave M my credit card # so she could buy them for me while I was at the office).  Tickets went on sale at 10am.  M had the computer queued up at 9:45.  At 9:58 she attempted to hit the button to see if she could buy tickets. No luck.  The sale started at 9:56.  The show sold out in 2 minutes.

Vampire Weekend was a show we were on the fence about seeing.  Sadly we spent too much time on the fence and missed out on tickets to that show.

I received the email from the Pixies mailing list about the presale for the Doolittle tour over the weekend. I am not that excited about the show being at the Music Hall but it’s the Pixies and they rarely tour.  M and I WILL be going in September.

Fast forward to now…
Miike Snow (sold out). Great show, sadly Antone’s is not the greatest place to see a band.  The Jew got one of the spare tickets and the other one was sold on CL.

Middle East/Mumford and Sons (sold out and moved to another venue to sell out again).  La Zona Rosa was a much better venue to see this band.

Passion Pit/Tokyo Police Club (sold out, they added another day and they sold out again).  M and I plan on getting their early enough to be close enough to eat their faces.  The Jew gets the spare ticket.  Sometime between now and the show one lucky person will get the last ticket.

I recently went out with a dude with a beard (It’s a sensible, trimmed, full-beard/moustache combo.  A good accessory for one of those corduroy jackets with elbow patches).    I met him on the internet and based on the photos, I had a 50/50 chance of facial hair.  For those of you who know me, this is a rarity.  I’ve lucked out and for the most part I have dealt with minimal face fuzz (sideburns, goatee, 5 o’clock shadow).  Would I stop going out with a guy because of facial hair decisions alone?  Probably not.  But if he were to go crazy and shave his beard into the porn stache, or trim the sensible beard into a chin beard… he may have to go.

In the meantime, I have a friend who’s woman WANTS him to grow some facial hair.  I have no clue why.  He is totally opposed to the idea.  I think he has grown a ridiculous soul patch to appease her.

For those of you on the hunt for dudes with ’staches, Misprint magazine is hosting their 4th Annual Beard and Moustache Contest on February 19th at the Mohawk

So, I have started a letter writing campaign (on-line dating again).   This time, it is in the name of science.  A friend sent me a link to this blog entry by the super nerds that run the dating site (yes, they run stats on everything).  They were looking at how race effects reply rate (they have looked at a whole host of reasons why people may or may not respond to your message). The numbers generated this nicely colored chart.

The chart shows that:

Men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.

My first instinct was to delete my profile and end my Don Quixote type search.  But then I figured that I should keep on in the name of science.  It’s a lot like casting bottled messages out to sea.

I sent the dudes and email not to long ago asking if they have looked at the numbers by location.

Stay tuned.

I was inspired to harness the power of social networking after M forwarded a tweet from a guy who was looking for a date.

Alright, twitter friends, I need a date. With a girl. Just dinner and such. PS-I have a job and a car. RT! RT!

Simple and to the point. Apparently this guy decided it was worth a try to use twitter to get a date before the end of the year vs. paying for internet dating sites.   I am curious to see how that goes.

M and my sis made an attempt to find me a date on Twitter last February.  I think the failure was that the “ad” took 3 to 4 tweets.  This time I went with something simple.

In my head this was safer than posting or trolling on CL to keep myself entertained this winter while M is on vacay.

After almost a year long hiatus, I have decided to get back on the horse and start dating again.

I use the term dating loosely.  I am really looking for a new partner in crime.  With M in school I have been left to my own devices most of the time.  On occasion I will go out on my own, but more often I am holed up in my house.

What exactly am I seeking out in a partner in crime.  A slightly more punctual, male version of M (I suppose I could take a female applicant, but I’d rather a male because I would like additional benefits).  Someone who will get me out of the house to see shows or grab drinks/dinner.  It would be nice if they lived in the Downtown/Mexico area.  After eight years of living in a house up North, I have decided that the numbered streets are much better.

M has already attempted to Social Network my ass.  Now she has encouraged me to “sell” myself on CL.

I posted the ad  for my ticket the “W4M” section of CL.  I was torn between there and “Strictly Platonic”.  Stay tuned on how this pans out.  When all else fails I will be moving my ticket to the “for sale” area of CL.

For those of you too lazy to search, here is the text.
Explosions in the Sky July 4th - 32 (Stubbs)
I have an extra ticket to the show at Stubbs. Technically it would be a double date. I would like to go with someone* vs. being the 3rd wheel. Doors are at 7. Not sure what the pre-show or post-show plans are just yet. Most likely biking downtown and grabbing drinks somewhere.

*Specifics on that someone
- At least 5′11″ and between the ages of 28 and 36.
- You are the type of guy who likes to know how things work
- Knows who Maurice Sendak is
- Likes vegetables
- Is computer literate but isn’t a social networking addict
- Can tolerate some shenanigans
- Non-smoker

As for myself, I am a tall black girl (but I am in no way, shape, or form going to be your ghetto princess) with hot librarian glasses. I am a scientist by day and on occasion I moonlight as a designer/seamstress.

Just looking for someone to share my ticket with and possible get to know. Email me if you are interested, we can exchange pics and go from there.

So I logged back in to the dating site.  After seeing Christian Rudder live and in person I felt the need to try again.  Sunday I logged in and updated my profile.  I explained that my absense was because I had been treating the site like Zappos for men (yes, I used those words).  What I failed to mention is that I only window shop on Zappos.  I have purchased more than a dozen pair of shoes but they were all returned within days of opening the box.

I suppose that you could say the same for my man shopping habits.  Mainly window shopping.  I have gone on a few dates but definitely no keepers just yet.

Zappos must have been listening. These men appeared in my inbox today.