So this past few days Jen and I and another unnamed friend have gotten on one of those interweb dating sites.

Honestly I’m still not sure what to make of it all yet. I got a few messages from a few dudes. The majority were cute, some however were not. The ones that did not interest me I did not respond to. That’s what it’s all about, right? It’s kinda the lazy man’s way of meeting people.

In my profile I wrote: Music: I feel like I shouldn’t get into that right now cause I don’t want to get all pretentious or whatever, so how about you suggest something. I’m totally into listening to new stuff.

Surprisingly, I only had a few of the messages be about music. However the site does have an IM feature, and a stalking feature. When I saw that I knew that it was either a) going to get me into trouble, or b) be very useful to avoid the creepies.

When I first got on, the IM business started going nuts. There are apparently some setting on it, i.e. you can say you only want to get IM’s from guys who are: single, a set age range, and a set distance from you. Once I figured that out, pretty quickly I stopped getting IM from creepy dudes that lived across the world somewhere. So props to that at the very minimum.

There’s also this other feature where you can get a quick look at someone’s profile, then the site asks you to rate them based on looks and personality. Truth be told, I don’t think that’s really fair, I believe I’m much better in person or actually talking to someone. I mean, you guys probably think I’m some kind of asshole from reading my writing, but eh.

So I am going through the profiles, seeing who the computer thinks I should be matched with, it’s not doing it for me. I looked through those matches the first evening I was on the site, replied to a few dudes, thought about replying to a few more, but decided it would be better to get some homework done.

The next day, maybe the day after? (I think I’ve only been on the site for 3 days now, maybe 4?) I decide to explore a little more. The quick look thing looked to me like it could be fun. It may put dudes in there who weren’t in my matches, and what the heck, can’t hurt, right? I’m just here to meet people, they may or may not want to date me, but knowing more people is good. I’m not saying I going to meet the next jen on there and have a new BFF or anything. I just think some variety would be good in my life.

So, tonight I was on and going through the quick looky thing. Saw a cute dude, so I rate him as cute. I’m down, alright. Leave that as it is for then. A few minutes later I get an e-mail from the site saying that dude also thought I was cute. Awesome! What an ego booster.

Then I end up chatting with Kleen for awhile, on the other chat thing I use. Next thing I know I have another e-mail from the site saying I have a message from that dude, sweet! I go to read the message and see that he’s still online. So I just go ahead and IM him… Ah the nerve, a girl who’s not afraid to get what she wants.

We ended up chatting for a few hours, eventually moved the conversation to the other chat program I use b/c the IM from the site is kind of silly.

Talked about beer, music, and not surprisingly, hipsters. Haha. Then I started getting punchy, cause well, I’m tired, was drinking a glass of wine, and had practice earlier.

I mentioned that I did actually think he is cute. He was very polite and said thank you. It’s a little hard to tell through a chat application, but I think we were flirting. At least I was trying to. Works for me.

We discussed also how this site in particular might be a better place to meet friends rather than “dates.” He makes a valid point, even in only being on it a few days, I’ve gotten a good number of hits, i.e. messages (maybe 7 or 8 total?). And of those, I think I would like to be friends with 2 so far, would like to go on dates with 1 maybe 2, and the other(s) I have no interest in whatsoever.

So now dear readers, as some of you know Jen and I have been on the 17 dates in a year quest. Probably many more of you know that I haven’t done so well, so I’m officially abandoning that in favor of a new experiment. This new experiment will be: How many people do I meet from this dating site in the remaining months of this year. I will keep track of how many dates I go on, and I will keep track of how many friends I make from it.

I see this as being a much more valid challenge than 17 dates in a year. I just don’t have the energy to keep up with a whole year of seeking out dudes to date, so I inevitably fall off the wagon. I can do this for 2 months though.

I’ll let you know what happeneds. Stay tuned.

Today the profiles were deleted. I still had 400 points left on my nerve personals account but I decided to cancel anyway. Has it done me any good? Mmmn, not really. It did get you a few good stories. I doubt that if I had met Napoleon Dynomite in person that it would have resulted in a date. Yahoo Personals was totally lame. No hits from people remotely interesting.

I was spending way too much time man hunting on the internet anyways. I will use my new found extra time to get more sewing and blogging done. Maybe some reading.

I need to find a place to meet straight men. I meet plenty of gay men in my travels (Fabric Store, Project Runway screenings, etc…). Maybe I will join a kickball league this fall.

If I get that “I’m not ready for a relationship” speech one more time, does Beetle Juice appear? or will the next guy be turned into a goon like Little Bunny Foo Foo? Seriously I need to know. Is there a prize at the bottom of this box of Cracker Jacks we call life or is it just a lot of crumbs?

This 17 dates thing was to help cure me of my trust issues or toughen me up and give me the heart of a rhino. I needed a rhino heart after I got the speech from a guy and then found out that he got engaged a few months later (I still have yet to find out whether this one has lied or not). Do I get my rhino heart at the end of 17 dates or will I crawl in to my cave like Punxsutawney Phil and maybe come out once a year?

My post about the Facebook status update was caused by yet another person who said that they were “not ready…” and yet apparently they were, just not with me. Ah, yes, pictures of them together on the Facebook. The chunks began to rise once again and I learned that I have not developed my rhino heart just yet. The only thing I could do was delete him from my friends list and hope that one day the Facebook people would send the people that I deleted a note. “Jen has just deleted you from her friends list. You are no longer friends. Have a nice day.” It would also be nice if they could just put that little note in the news feed. They let you know when people friend someone. Why not the other way around? “Jen has ended her friendship with X.”

So I spent the morning with my friend’s 3-year-old son who loves me. He thinks I am awesome. He likes me better than his mom’s other friends because I come over and we play, and read, and sometimes I bring him something cool (like cookie dough or games). He is also honest. Today he was being a little fussy. He admitted that he was grumpy (aka it’s him, not me). I was a little grumpy too. We worked through it and had a good time.

So there you have it kids. Tell the truth. Don’t water it down. Don’t offer that chaser of “It’s not you, it’s me” or “you deserve better”. It doesn’t make the bitter pill any easier to swallow.

Does anyone besides me find that little heart icon annoying? MySpace was a little more stealth about the process (or atleast is was in the past, I haven’t been on there in a while).

For those of you living in a rock, this is what I am talking about…

This just happens to be a perfect example of someone who listed themselves in a relationship a little prematurely. Almost a full 11 hours. This one didn’t get to the point where the name of the person that you are in a relationship with gets posted.

A few people on the internet that have something to say about this Facebook trend. Check out a few examples here, here and here.

Please stop the insanity. Is it really that important to announce these details of your life to everyone? Learn how to disable that shit!

In the meantime, I will be figuring out how to not be alerted of relationship status changes.

I attended a panel at SXSW on this topic last year.

They discussed the pros, the cons. Anonymity. Protect yourself. Protect the people you date. Do you tell people that you date that you may or may not blog about it? Will they be offended for being included (or left out)? What if they stumble upon your blog? Will they change their mind about you?

Eventually people find out about your blog. One of these days it will come back to bite me in the ass (the time delay can only do do much). I guess I will cross that bridge when I get there.

I have to disagree with the whole ‘know it when you see it’ angle of dating. As someone who online dated forever…including to snare her current beau. Being specific has its benefits in online ventures as well as final decisions.
The best way to get what you want is to write it down. It’s very simple, find out the dealbreakers and avoid them.
For me, I decided that I wanted someone tall, funny, independent and a host of other things. I got serious with guys that were not anything on the list or only some of the things because I was lonely.
Don’t date because you are lonely. Date someone because you are truly interested in them and how they make you feel.
You want younger? Fine, go younger but know with the adventuring fly by the seat of the pants attitude comes possible lack of financial stability and the exhausting task of whether or not you can hang out with their friends.

In the midst of this dating frenzy I just wanted to take a moment to say THANK GOD I AM NOT OUT THERE. After a horrendous break up and a life changing move back home to Texas I am in a committed and purdy spectacular long term relationship with an actual man (as oppose to a guy or a boy) who is not only good looking, smart, funny and tall but who is interested in me, my life’s hopes and dreams.. He’s awesome and the last 9 months has flown by.
That being said.
I’m friends with most of my ex-boyfriends. Maybe I’ve mentioned it before here, if not, now you know. Many of my exes and I talk on almost a daily basis ok, like two exes on a daily basis many on a weekly/bimonthly basis.
My question, due to recent circumstances, is the age old “When Harry Met Sally” question: Can a man and a woman be friends? What if they’ve been intimate? Is hetero-friendship a step forward or a step backwards when it comes to intimacy?
Somewhere in month 5 I got an email from an Ex. We’ll call him Jacob cause that’s what he is called in my Nanowrimo piece. Jacob wanted to go to dinner with me and I had the sneaking suspicion that it was because he had broken up with his latest. (Cause well, that’s what happens) I went anyway, cause well, we were friends at one point and I was up for a laugh.
We’ve since hung out quite a few times, and time before last he admitted that he was bummed that I had a boyfriend. I laughed. I laughed right in his face. I may have even slapped the table and leaned over in the booth but the point is–at this point should I stop hanging out with him or should I figure he’ll get over me and find a different type of distraction girl? My wonderful boyfriend of course (after much deliberation) knows about this now and his first reaction “I feel bad for the guy, cause I know what its like to have the hots for you and well, it would be sad if nothing could be done about it.”
His second reaction when he realized that we had previously been naked was a little less understanding but nothing a little communication and crying couldn’t fix. I hung out with Jacob a couple more times, and laid down the law. Point blank stare with a super serious “I’m not interested, you can’t win this. Give up.” And he got the hint. We stopped hanging out so much but he checks in every once in a while.
Can men and women be friends? Sure, but only if boundaries are set. Oh and if the girl has a kick ass boyfriend, that’s gravy.

First we go to the dictionary

rev·o·lu·tion play_w(“R0210000″) (rv-lshn)

I am not in a mood for much of a rant today. I just want to share some things I’ve been pondering.

Chances are there are people out there experiencing the same things.

First off, I found out that my friend Adam is tired of the BS related to dating too. There’s got to be a better way to get to know people.

Second, It may be the season for giving right now, but it is also the season for dumping. The Thelma and Louise adventure occurred the day after Thanksgiving. I was dumped last year on the day before xmas.

And as much as we hate to admit it, none of us wants to be alone.

Don’t ask me why, but there are just some people that you will do anything for, no matter what. I got a call yesterday. A friend had just been dumped by her stupid fucktard boyfriend (they had been dating for a year). She didn’t come right out and say what was wrong or what had happened but I knew when she asked what I was doing I knew that it wasn’t as important as what we were about to do. She needed to get her stuff out of his house. ASAP.

I was there in 25 minutes with an empty car. An hour later we had both cars full. She was free. We left before either of us did something we might regret. There were a few judgment calls made on whether or not to take the laundry detergent or some of the food in the fridge.

After unloading both cars, we went out for drinks and talked for a long time about failed relationships. We pondered whether it was ok to be angry/jealous because so many people we know are in the perfect relationship. We wondered how many failed relationships a person must survive to get to the good stuff.

All of this from a friendship that almost didn’t happen. You’d never believe that when I first met her I was determined to hate her. All because of a stupid boy. Lucky for us, Megan changed my mind.