So, today the last of my single friends is buying a house… er I mean signing the papers on his new house.

I am the last of everyone within my group of friends to be progressing forward. I don’t own my own house, am not married, and do not have a job. What state does that exactly put me in.

I’m sitting here at school, and yes that’s community college still listening to the little barbies next to me talking about how they must have fall weddings… Am I so young that I’m no where even thinking about all that yet? I thought I was older than most people I go to school with. I guess age is just a state of mind.

What does this mean? Are my friends out growing me?

I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter all that much, I’m pretty much happy at the place that I am in life, but it is something in the back of my head.

I guess it’s more motivation to get through with school faster. I guess the part of it all that’s scary is that I feel like I’m in this state of limbo right now. I know what I have to do, but I’m in the doing it stage and not the being done stage.

Maybe that’s the lesson, enjoying the stage of doing because there will always be a next stage to worry about later.

Any thoughts?

Most of the time, I feel like things are moving at turtle speed. I looked through my calendar in my Palm pilot out of bordom the other day (meetings, yawn…) and realized…

1. As of Friday, I will have owned my home for 5 years.
2. I have had my cat for 9 years. I am still amazed that he runs off for weeks and still finds his way home.
3. It has been a year since I have had sex. Yes, it has been a whole year. But that was totally my choice. I refuse to lower my standards (and I am afraid of catching something). Lucky for me I have a good support network and a battery charger.
4. I have lived in Austin for 12.5 years.
5. It’s been 6 years since my car accident. The dental work to fix my broken teeth hasn’t needed any repairs.
6. It’s been over a year since I have been out dancing. I realized that I really didn’t make me happy.
7. The people I keep closest to me are the ones that I have known for atleast 8 years. They know my deepest, darkest secrets and I know theirs.
8. This is my 3rd year of SXSW.
9. I have had my passport for 5 years and haven’t left the country yet.
10. It’s been almost 3 years since I have had roommates. I don’t think I could go back to having one.
11. I’ve been blogging for a little over 2 years. I am not sure who is out there reading, it was more important that I get all of this stuff out of my head.

…, so are the days of our lives.

I turned 30 on Friday. 30 doesn’t feel that much different than 29. Some people say that it is the new 21. If it really was the new 21 I would have had a margarita machine and a bouncy castle…

The festivities began on Thursday. My co-workers decorated my office with a ton of balloons. Then they cookied my car when I was in a meeting.

Those would be lemon-cream filled sandwich cookies plastered all over my car (no, they didn’t hurt the paint). This was how I started my long weekend (I had scheduled myself to be off through Tuesday)

After work I went to the container store (my car was still covered in cookies and only a few were lost in transit). I picked up shelves so I could finish my pantry project. The shelving project required a drill bit I didn’t have so I tabled installation until Friday.

I slept in on Friday morning (till about 10ish). I had a chocolate-chocolate chip cookie for breakfast (I was meeting my parents for lunch at noon so I didn’t eat a “real breakfast”). I removed most of the cookies from my car and then I headed off to meet my parents for lunch at Hyde Park Bar and Grill.

After lunch I headed out to FirstSamples. I needed to return a key and talk to Shauna about the future of Level IV. There is still one cookie stuck to the top of my car (this cookie was still on my car when I took it to be washed on Monday afternoon).

I went to Home Depot on the way home from the studio. I had to get the giant drill bit in order to install my new shelves. I bought a nifty new set of drill bits and headed home to my lemon-scented garage.

Shelf installation went pretty quick. I was done in 20 minutes or so. All of my food is one space now. I no longer use a giant rubbermaid tub for food storage. Elfa is expensive, but it rocks.

I went to Trudy’s for dinner (and my free Mexmart). I was shocked that my party of 10 was seated in 45 minutes and not the hour and 30 minutes we were quoted. After dinner I finished the night off at the Alamo Drafthouse (Spike and Mike’s Sick and Twisted Animation Festival). The festival has seen better days but it is pretty hard to compete against YouTube.

Saturday was spent cleaning my house and loafing. I did some prep work for the dinner party I was hosting on Sunday. I went back to the container store (they are having a sale). I went to World Market (they have a great wine selection and the prices are pretty good). I went to the grocery store (which I hate) because I needed some key ingredients for dinner. Before retiring to the couch for the evening I made the chocolate mousse and biscotti. I ended up watching Life Aquatic with the commentary on (and falling asleep because I was worn out).

Sunday I was up early. I went to Costco (I drove by on Saturday and it was a zoo). I washed my hair and began the baking marathon (ok, not like my Christmas baking marathon). Portobella Brie cups for the appetizer. I made pasta with artichoke hearts, spinach and feta for the main course. Chocolate mousse with whipped cream (from scratch and spiked with Bailey’s) for dessert.

I had 7 of my closest friends around one table. This has NEVER happened before. I can rarely arrange time with just two of them. Most of them I have known since college. Some have been roommates. We ate and drank and talked from 7 until around 10 ish. Keely and Megan ended up staying until 2am (It was nice. The last time we did something like that was after I broke up with the first boy. This time all of us were resting firmly on the plateau without issues).

Monday I slept in until around 10:30. Mom came over to drop off some things. I went to the post office and ran a few errands. I got my car washed. They did a pretty crappy job. There is still some lemon frosting here and there. I spent a big chunk of my evening organizing my sewing room and pondering if I could skip another day of work. Maybe I could become a professional organizer. Maybe work at the container store?

So that would be my 30th birthday weekend.

I prefer to do lists over resolutions.

To Do (in no particular order):

1. Use my passport. I have had my passport for many years and I have yet to use it. I will leave the country this year. Even if I have to sell plasma weekly to afford it. I am leaning towards New Zealand. It’s pretty expensive but the weather rocks year round.
2. Continue to work on my goal of tollerance.
3. Paint my pantry and put up new shelves.
4. Teach more sewing classes.
5. Interact with real people (not on the internet) atleast twice a week (this is for my “parole officers” Em and Megan).
6. Read more books (or atleast finish up that pile I purchased in 2006).
7. Sell that $300 pair of jeans.
8. Officially start a small business. DBA Spinsta needs to happen this year.
9. Expose myself to the best things humans have done and try to bring those things into what you are doing.
10. “Do cool shit, every damned day, or die trying” Tom Peters

I made New Years cards instead of sending out the generic “Season’s Greetings” or “Happy Holidays” card. The quote I selected for the inside was never more appropriate.

“To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping” -Chinese Proverb

This is not my hardest journey but I still feel icky from yesterday’s dumping. I went through the usual purging of emails and myspace messages. I changed the sheets on my bed. I’ve basically kept myself busy to the point where I am exhausted. Exhausted to the point where I won’t dwell on it and beat myself up for not seeing this coming.

I finally met someone else who works out for the same reasons that I do.

I was having a totally random discussion with a friend of mine who admitted that the reason why he works out is the same as Lester in American Beauty.

Lester Burnham: I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.
Jim Olmeyer : Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?
Lester Burnham : I want to look good naked!

It felt good knowing that I wasn’t alone in this. Sure there’s that eating healthy and exercizing to live longer. But really, who is that focused on living longer? I personally would like to enjoy life along the way. Enjoy life with a nice perky bottom.

I am not one of those crazy people that spends their life at the gym. I used to do cardio once or twice a week but now I am into pilates. I do about 5-10 minutes everyday. That combined with being a good vegetarian is preventing office chair ass spread.

Eventually I will give in and let gravity take its toll. But not now. I don’t want to be one of those people that looks good for their age. I’d rather just be someone who looks good.

I have been bitching about work a lot lately and was reminded that I am in control of this adventure. Granted there are some major things in life that I have no control over (the start and end of this tale). But I get to choose whether or not I want this job. I also get to have some say in what I want this job to be for me.

So what now? It’s time to re-evaluate. I took some time out yesterday to look at where I’ve been (aka. checking the resume for freshness). I am thinking about where I am now (and more importantly what am I worth). The next thing to do is decide what is next. Specifically, which direction do I go now (There is currently no fork in the road. I need to make a choice to be on or of the path).

Project Management is what I’d like to do. Although I’d prefer to manage projects that didn’t suck. The field that I want to manage these projects in is currently unknown.

Stay tuned boys and girls.

Times are changing. I finally told my father about Chris moving in with me. His response, “I would reconsider that if he drops out of school.” And that was it. Chris told his father and he stated, “Yah, like he would really want his daughter to live with someone with no future.” All things considered, the revelation went extremely well.

Chris and his parent’s dog are now basically living with me. I forgot how much of a responsibility a dog is, especially when you live on the third floor and the dog has been used to living with people who keep “normal hours.” In addition to this transition, I interviewed for a new job this past Friday at Seton. The interview was tremendous. We spoke for over an hour and the nurse managers introduced me to some of the staff. I am expecting to hear back from them any day. The only catch is that for the past 2 years I have been a psychiatric nurse. Meaning, no IVs, no blood, minimal vomiting, mucous, and other noteworthy bodily fluids and their odors. The managers stated they would be happy to review skills with me, but I don’t know that I want to regain these disgusting skills. I’ve dealt with only one colostomy (poop bag) and tracheostomy thus far, however these will become commonplace to me. However, I hope in doing so I can feel more confident in being a nurse while attempting to return to school to become a nurse practicioner. I hope I am up for the challenge. Now more than ever, I feel like I need to keep repeating the famous mommy mantra, “I can be anything I want to be when I grow up.”

It’s 10:15 on Friday night.

I have secured my 12th job. It feels a little weird. I am happy to be leaving the area where I am in but I am not quite sure if this next job is “the one” or if it is just preparing me for job #13. I am exhausted. You’d think that job hunting and finding would be easy for someone like me who has had so many jobs. It’s not.

People give me a lot of shit for wanting something more, something better. They say, “be thankful that you have a job.” Blame my stupidity. I have been listening to an audiobook called, “The Millionaire Mind,” by Thomas J. Stanley, PhD. He says that people who were told they wouldn’t be successful because they did poorly in school/standardized tests are often the ones that make it the farthest. Damn right! I had the conflicting messages. My teachers didn’t expect me to amount to much at times but my parents always gave me the “as long as you do your best” speech.

Sometimes I think it’s a curse. Other times I am thankful for being so driven. I am 28 and I have been a homeowner for 3 years. I am not rich by any means. I have enough. I have no debts (unless you count the mortgage). Somedays I think that it might be cool to have a nicer car or a hottub. Maybe a giant tv with surround sound. But I am doing alright without those things.

I am not looking for extra cash. I feel that if you are going to spend a good portion of your life at your job it had damn well better be satisfying. There are much faster ways to make money at not so satisfying jobs. I could be a drug dealer or a sex worker (although something says that sex worker may be a little fun for a little while).

If I am going to work under someone, that someone had better be a damn good leader and I should learn something from them. Otherwise what is the point? Why not be self-employed?

Today I got my first real job paycheck.
It was exciting, finally seeing my name neatly type through the cellophane window. Ripping open the crisp white envelope.
I don’t know what I was expecting.
I mean I worked it out beforehand, how much I was going to earn net paywise per paycheck.
I guess I was hoping I would be wrong.
I was dead on right.
Well..I was under by $1.22.
But I am oifficially a part of upper echelon of the hourly wage workers.
Now to jump into my Quicken account and adjust my savings goals.
Ahh… employment.
~end