Image from Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho

In the last few weeks I have made the executive decision to remove a few people from my FB news feed.  Why?  Because life was getting to be a bit like a B movie.  Sure, Web 2.0 has a lot of benefits.  You get to keep in touch with people all over the globe, but at the same time, there are just a few things you don’t need/want to know (or you will go CRAZY).

As we all know, the classic B horror flick contains several scenes where the audience tries to tell the actor/actress not to do something.  “Don’t go in the basement!” or “Don’t open that door!” or “Get the fuck out of there, something is going to kill you!”

My version of that is deleting people from my feed (I don’t “un-friend” them).  If I really want to know, I have to make the effort to go to their profile and read their wall.  But as we all know from experience, that is a bad idea.

So last night I left the house to join a few friends on a pub crawl through “Mexico.”  I figured it would be a good opportunity to get out and meet new people.  It wasn’t a complete failure.  I talked to a few people.  But at the same time I was reminded me how much I don’t like being in extremely crowded social situations.

I am not a people person.  Small groups are good.  Even small groups in a bar are ok.  But when you enter the bar with a herd of people that is already crowded,  it gets a little scary.  I start to feel like a lost kid in a crowd who has lost their mom.    I stayed for 75% of the event but after awhile I needed to go back to my posse and just hang out for a bit.  For some people, liquor helps these situations,  After 1.5 beers and 3 vodka tonics, I was still feeling lost and alone in the sea of people.

Towards the end of the night 10hdg and M were back to the usual shenanigans.  Trying to match up their single friends with random strangers in the bar.  This time I managed to escape because they had another victim for the night.  I also think that they sensed that I was exhausted from being around people for the previous 6 hours.  I was at the point where I may have gone fetal if I was rejected by a random stranger. I would rather walk off disappointed that I wasn’t approached by anyone that evening.

Can I keep it down to one rejection per month?  I think I could handle that. At least until I get my rhino heart.

Truth be told, I am afraid of dating rejection. It’s not the only thing I am afraid of. It’s merely something that I am afraid of that is easy for me to write about. We will discuss my other fears some other time.

My friend’s boyfriend asked me if I get asked out all the time. I shocked him by saying that I never get asked out. I am not alone though. My friend Em is the same way. Is it me, or are guys looking for a wounded bird to take care of?

A year ago I went on strike. I decided that I wasn’t going to ask anyone out. I decided that maybe, just maybe, someone would ask me out before I turned 30. Around November it actually happened. One guy in a whole year. Not so good. I had a chat with Megan today about putting myself out there and just asking someone out. She thinks it is time (and I now have a homework assignment).That doesn’t stop it from being scary. I have trust issues and I don’t like sharing (but atleast I am aware of that).

The last last guy I went out with, I met at a party. I decided to go for it because my inner circle of friends is completely tapped out (he was a co-worker of a friend). I either know where the guys have been or they are too young or I am just not interested. I have explored online dating but something about it just doesn’t seem right. Besides there is only so much you can really know about a person through there online profile (and its much easier to lie online)

Sure each new person is a learning experience but I would like to avoid getting hurt again. It’s definitely getting easier explaining that I am not perfect and that I am a little complicated. The difficulty is trying to communicate that my needs are simple. It seems like most guys see the
fact that I can look after myself and begin to wonder what exactly do I need them for.

My friend Chris is convinced that my independence is a good thing. Most guys probably won’t understand that, but some will get the fact that I am looking for someone to compliment my life, not to be my life.

Um, no. You are wrong.

I am not a hug person. I like my personal space. A nice safety circle with a radius of an armslength (and I have long arms so move back).

I wouldn’t mind hugs so much if I got them from a) really cute boys or b) people I am friends with or c) really cute boys that are my friends. But no. Last week at a stakeholder meeting I got a hug and ew, a kiss on the cheek (I tried to turn my head around quick enough so he would get whacked in the face with my hair) from a scary old man. I tried to block and go for the handshake but I failled. I was a party last night and had a very long uncomfortable hug from an acquaintaince that always creeps me out. To make matters worse this person has been told on a number of occassions that they have absolutely NO CHANCE.

Everytime I see a futon I am reminded of a few key futon experiences. I don’t know that the experiences could be duplicated but I am constantly reminded of things that can happen with a futon. It’s a couch AND a bed. You could be innocently hanging out on a couch and the next minute you are close to naked on a bed.

Scenario #1
You are hanging out on a futon, with a boy, listening to Beastie Boys and watching cartoon network on mute. You are drinking rum and cokes and all of a sudden you move from vertical to horizontal. Not only that, but the futon was converted with you on it, and the boy did it with one hand. This boy was a Jedi. He could have your blouse unbuttoned and your bra unhooked without you even knowing. I’ve helped this guy clean his apartment on a few occasions and based on the fact that several pairs of panties were recovered from under the futon, he had time to work on this one handed technique [aside: how can all these girls forget to retrieve their panties?]

Scenario #2
NYE party. Spare room at someone’s house has a futon. Yes, 5 people can fit on a futon, especially when it is a bed.

Scenario #3
Birthday party. It’s the end of the night and things are winding down. People are clearing out and the people who own the place decided to convert the futon so we could all be a little more confortable.

I guess what I am saying is, I fear futons because I end up horizontal and mostly naked. Who ever knew that furniture could be so dangerous.