But your not.

I’ve been going through the band list for sxsw and it’s taking way too fucking long.  Why you ask?  Because bands did a bad job of promoting themselves.  I am currently using the SXSW music page, last.fm and myspace to listen to the bands.  Since M and I use the 3 song rule to determine whether or not we will go to a show, the sxsw website isn’t so helpful with their streaming media option.  That one song may or may not be representative of the bands set list.

Bands,think about what info you  display on the sxsw website.  Don’t give out your own website if it is going to take me more than 2 clicks to listen to your music.  My biggest dissappointment is when I click a few times only to get a link to your myspace page.  Just put the link to the myspace page on the sxsw site.

Another good option for bands is to use sonicbids and upload your songs to their streaming device.  That way I can listen to the songs while I read your bio.

Last.fm has proved useful for the bands that actually put their music on there.  Its not cool when you click to a band’s page and find that you can only listen to bands like them, not their actual music.  I like using last.fm over myspace because the pages are tagged with similar artists, reviews, bios and often a list of upcoming gigs so I can get a feel for who they tour with.

Back to the myspace pages.  Think about what you put on there. Some band sites look like web 2.0 puked all over them.  If you have 80k widgets on your page, 1) it slows down page loading and 2) many bands have forgotten to disable the autoplay feature (meaning the user needs to turn the apps off or be bombarded with every tune the band put up on the site).

Camel - from wikipedia

I searched through the old posts and apparently this hasn’t been documented.

So here is the definition

sex cam·el (sks kml)
noun A person, who can go for long periods without sexual intercourse in the same manner that a camel can go for long periods without water. They have found a way to store it up so they don’t need it as often.

In the case of myself and many of my girlfriends, it’s the dude that stops putting out.  In the beginning, there is non-stop sex (hell yeah!). Then all of a sudden you can’t remember the last time you had sex (booo!).  Or it becomes routine (woo hoo, it’s Wednesday night, let’s do it).  What happened? These are not elderly men who have entered the Viagra years.  These are able bodied dudes.  They just won’t put out.

One of my exes admitted to the fact that he was getting himself off nightly.  REALLY?  If given the choice, most guys I know will choose a women over their hand.  Or maybe a combination of the two.   He also admitted that he was trying to ween me off the sex.   He was frightened, he claimed it was like opening up Pandora’s box.  He didn’t think that I would be THAT into it.  First, he managed to get me down to sex on the weekends. Then, it was every two weeks. Then a month or two went by. That’s when I decided to get out.

Feel free to write in with your sex camel stories.  Maybe we can get these animals tagged so they can be identified in the wild.

From wikipedia - Train wreck at Gare Montparnasse, Paris, France, 1895

… you just have to stop and stare for a minute or so.  Like when you see someone wearing something from AA (Seriously, leotards are for mannequins and Jane Fonda only.  Ok, maybe for a workout, NOT for wearing in public.).

Am I evil for scanning the internet?  What if I were looking for things that  may have made me appreciate my life more? [btw, freedom is priceless] I could be childish and say that many other friends admitted doing the same.  If I am not the only one doing it, is it really that bad? [Don't you dare comment, "...if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?"... The answer may be yes. I've always had the Thelma and Louise ending at the top of my list for ways to go]

I am not going to admit what information I/we were looking for. Besides, it’s their own fault for leaving that sort of information just lying around for google to find.

I was thinking sex toys but after a discussion with Meg, wedding dresses are the same way.

I wanted something simple and stainless steel (or maybe glass).  Something without a face or woodland creature.  How much does it cost?  Almost $200.  Meanwhile, if you wanted to go the woodland creature with a face route, it could be as low as $20.  WTF.

I remember several friends’ dilemmas when it came to wedding dress shopping. Something with scads of lace and frills, something that looks like the craft store threw up on it (minus the glitter), is super cheap.  For some strange reason simple dresses only come from fancy designers like Vera Wang and will cost you your first born child.

…and while I am on my soapbox,  I will add organic food, natural fiber clothing, light/plumbing fixtures, and sleek/sexy electronics.

"My" cat Louis

So my cat decided to roam off last May (5/20/08 to be exact).  I had a meltdown.  Then the ellusive kitty has been sighted in my yard the past three weekends.  Meg was with me the first time.  She happened to look out the window and saw a cat on the fence.  It looked like Louis.  I opened the door and called him.  He jumped off the fence, looked at me and ran. WTF?    I opened the back door and he darted off.  Every weekend since then he has been around the yard.  We go through the same exact thing.  I open the door, he runs off.

Ok, I get it.  After 10.5 years he has moved on.  I suppose he “belongs” to someone else now. I am happy he is alive but does he really need to continue to haunt my yard like a ghost?  After the first sighting I decided it wasn’t realistic to try and catch him and domesticate him.  I suppose I could get him enrolled in the catch and release program so he can get his shots updated.

Remember that scene in Bambi when it’s spring and all the little woodland creatures are in heat twitterpated?  That’s all I have seen lately.  Maybe it’s the cold weather?  Maybe it’s the holiday season that makes people not want to be alone?  Maybe it is the holiday xmas party open bar.  I don’t know.

The other day on facebook a friend posted this, “XXX is covered head to toe in smitten.”  I promptly replied, “You should see a doctor about that.  They can probably perscribe some sort of topical ointment to clear that up.”

Since it is so cold, why don’t all of you smitten people bunker down for winter and just get with the baby-making.   That way I will get a nice parking space downtown when I go out drinking.

Was just watching something on youtube.  I’ll embed it but it’s a little long.  It’s the middle section to a movie I have to watch for a class, called Ancient Futures.   In it they discuss the inter-related and interconnectedness of everything, I think they’re talking about it in a more environmental way, but It calls to mind a book Jen let me barrow.  I still haven’t returned it yet.  It’s called The Art of Happiness.  It’s by the Dali Lama and a western psychologist named Howard C. Cutler.  In the book they discuss the ways to finding happiness, and sure it’s a little bit pop psychology/touchy feely, but I kind of get the concepts they are talking about.  Maybe something about it resonates with you too?

There is further discussion about leading yourself to happiness by connecting with other people.  Realizing that we are all more alike than less alike.  And to tell you the truth, I think I read it, and was like, eh, ok whatever ya that makes sense.  But now I think about that book and some of the silly or outright dumb stuff that has taken place in my life in the past few years and realize that it’s true.  The book is for all practical purposes correct for me.   I’ve begun to understand myself better by how I relate to other people, and really to try to connect with them on some level.

Anyhow, this is all a little too neo-hippy for me, but I like the general concepts.  I don’t think I’m afraid to admit that I have some of those tendencies within me, but I’m not always sure how to express them.  I wish I didn’t even have to.  For example, my father doesn’t have to express them, but I get this sense about him that he just gets it, my mom too, but in a different way.  I never thought I’d say this, but I want to be more like my parents.

Here’s the video section that spurred this.

And I totally recommend reading that book.  You don’t have to get all sensitive or anything, no burning of incense is necessary, but it’s a good read.  It made a lot of things in my head more clear, and it really was a vehicle for me finding out how to take better care of me.

So last week a tree decided to attack my house.  Early this morning leaving downtown, I was the victim of a hit and run.  I suppose I should be thankful for the fact that neither event caused major damage.  But seriously, when does it all end?  I would like to take a break from filing insurance claims.

I am more pissed off about the hit and run though.  It’s not like the tree planned on attacking my house. My guess is that the dude driving the black SUV was drunk or high and had no plans to stop and file a police report.  I got close enough to get the license plate #.  I called the police, not sure if they will catch the guy but atleast I called it in.

In the last week I have destroyed a giant heap of sweaters (high end sweaters) to produce 9 hat/scarf sets.  There are also a few unmatched hats and scarves.  You might say that is awesome. But it’s not.  The only reason that happened is because I am in a bad mood, and when that happens it is just best for me to be in my sewing cave away from all people (usually destroying things). I am not in some sort of crafter’s holiday rush right now.  My hatred for retail (and bitchy customers) keeps me from selling my stuff in stores and the internet (BTW. If someone out there wants to be the go between for a minimal fee, preferably merch, let me know).

To the people who are concerned about my disappearance or perhaps the fact that I haven’t been answering my phone, stay tuned, you could end up with something nice and warm.

I suppose the plus side to spending a billion hours in front of the sewing machine is that it keeps me off the internet.

If I get that “I’m not ready for a relationship” speech one more time, does Beetle Juice appear? or will the next guy be turned into a goon like Little Bunny Foo Foo? Seriously I need to know. Is there a prize at the bottom of this box of Cracker Jacks we call life or is it just a lot of crumbs?

This 17 dates thing was to help cure me of my trust issues or toughen me up and give me the heart of a rhino. I needed a rhino heart after I got the speech from a guy and then found out that he got engaged a few months later (I still have yet to find out whether this one has lied or not). Do I get my rhino heart at the end of 17 dates or will I crawl in to my cave like Punxsutawney Phil and maybe come out once a year?

My post about the Facebook status update was caused by yet another person who said that they were “not ready…” and yet apparently they were, just not with me. Ah, yes, pictures of them together on the Facebook. The chunks began to rise once again and I learned that I have not developed my rhino heart just yet. The only thing I could do was delete him from my friends list and hope that one day the Facebook people would send the people that I deleted a note. “Jen has just deleted you from her friends list. You are no longer friends. Have a nice day.” It would also be nice if they could just put that little note in the news feed. They let you know when people friend someone. Why not the other way around? “Jen has ended her friendship with X.”

So I spent the morning with my friend’s 3-year-old son who loves me. He thinks I am awesome. He likes me better than his mom’s other friends because I come over and we play, and read, and sometimes I bring him something cool (like cookie dough or games). He is also honest. Today he was being a little fussy. He admitted that he was grumpy (aka it’s him, not me). I was a little grumpy too. We worked through it and had a good time.

So there you have it kids. Tell the truth. Don’t water it down. Don’t offer that chaser of “It’s not you, it’s me” or “you deserve better”. It doesn’t make the bitter pill any easier to swallow.